A Happier You

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

We must be responsible for our own happiness, which starts within, as opposed to putting this responsibility in whole on outside factors.

According to Psychology Today  “…it is important to realize that there are many components to happiness.  If you are feeling sad, then you may be prone to focus on what is wrong with you that makes you unhappy.  When you realize the role that life situations play in happiness, though, it helps you to see how changing your environment can also change your outlook on life.”

When we have sources external to us that are affecting our moods, it is important to identify and address these aspects that may be draining our spirit. We must put this action in motion if we can remove ourselves from a negative environment. It is important not to underestimate how draining an unhealthy environment can be to the spirit, but we must also realize that we can’t control others; we must be responsible for our own emotional state.

We must take ownership of our present moment and our own destinies. If we’re not living our dreams, we must take control of the reigns of life and change direction. Happiness is not a destination; it is a way of being. I recommend you surface your creative spirit and allow this expression to help a happier you rise in the present moment.

Talk to me about a happier you; what does this person feel and look like?

Conflict is Natural

 

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo 

 

I used to think of conflict as drama, but as I’ve grown older, I realize that society has influenced this perspective. If I ran from conflict, I would be exhausted. And it would feel like I am running from life; it is a natural part of life. Why? Because we are all individuals. I really believe conflict can be a good thing. When I think of my relationship with my fiancé, for example, while he and I have similar ideals and dreams, our strategies for getting there are very different. I love this about us. We are both good people with good intentions and both creative and intelligent, but almost anytime we are problem-solving, we’re looking at it from different angles. It is pretty cool. A relationship is made of two individuals, and it is when these individuals lose themselves within the relationship that identities get lost, and when this happens, relationships turn to the worst. When we can embrace our individual selves and allow the relationship to complement each of us, it thrives in a positive light.

Yes, I am not denying that conflict can be bad, when charged negatively; it is destructive. Differences can turn into bickering, which turns into arguments, and then into revenge, and on a big scale, this can turn into war. But it isn’t the word itself that creates such havoc; it is the energy given to it that either lights the world or darkens it. Words can empower or disempower; once they are stated, you might be able to say sorry, but the bad stuff is hard to forget. Be intentional with how you speak to yourself and others; if you are in conflict, be respectful; otherwise, you could regret it.

Talk to me about the conflict in your life. Can you see its light? Share with me.

Bejeweled Blitz

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC Photo

I must confess I am a fan of Bejeweled Blitz; I like the classic game. Perhaps it draws me in because of my competitive spirit, or it is tantalizing to the child in me, but at least a couple of times a week, I like to settle into the game, mostly late at night, and I continue to push for higher scores.

I used to feel guilty about this pastime because it wasn’t productive, but we need some downtime and fun for us to be efficient and productive, so I’m not as hard on myself about this any longer. Do not misunderstand, if I was playing hours and hours each and everyday, this is not a healthy. The keyword in the article is moderation. Also, perhaps it is the mom in me, but the research offers “casual games” like Bejeweled Blitz as being productive, so if it is a violent game, I’m not sure it meets the grade as far as being positive, at least according to this particular research.

The impact of violent gaming is controversial and beyond the scope of this article. I like more calming or upbeat games. I think whatever we interface with creates energy that dwells with and impacts us. I want to boost my light, not any darkness!

What do you do with your downtime? Do you play any online video games? Drop me a note, and let’s talk about it.

Surprise Yourself, it is Fulfilling

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

Earlier this summer, I was surprised to find a bird’s nest in my hanging plant that I often move to the shade on my porch and then back to the sun on a hanging rod next to my driveway. It seems these little birds thought it was a good refuge, although I was worried about them after I discovered it. It was rather mobile and flimsy, although it worked out for them as temporary housing because later, I found the nest empty except for a broken eggshell.

This kind of surprise is amazing; being on the sidelines of nature in the process is pretty cool. I think the birds were Finches, but I’m not 100% sure as I’m not an avid bird watcher.

It is interesting to me to see how people’s personalities shape the activities around them. For example, we were recently going to give my aunt a surprise birthday party, but when my uncle was notified, he advised against it. She really isn’t the kind of person who likes surprises, although the gesture came from our hearts. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been perceived this way, so we didn’t pursue it. Later when she found out, she vetoed the thought altogether!

She is a kind person, but for her, the surprise might have been more of a stressor than a fun-loving celebration as intended.

We can surprise others, be surprised by others, or sometimes we surprise ourselves.

I like the thought of overcoming a lack of confidence when we perceive something to be beyond our reach but push through successfully and achieve despite adversity. This is so rewarding and surprising.

What are your thoughts about being surprised? Is it something you like? Leave me a note about it.

Thoughts of Substance and Strategizing Action

Microsoft Clip Art Photo

I titled my article Thoughts of Substance while I leaned on Zapier.com to expand on such thoughts. They provided good content that discussed moving beyond the generation of ideas into a more decisive process.  

According to Zapier, "finally we come to the hardest part of the process. Recognizing which ideas are worth pursuing, and which should be dumped or put on hold. I'm not sure there's a solid answer to how you can go about this, but I picked up some clues to perfecting the process.

Lewandowski suggests using passion as a filter, which I'm definitely on board with. If you're looking at a huge stack of ideas (hopefully by this stage you are), you have to be ruthless about which ones you choose to pursue—we'll never find time to execute on every idea we have. And anyway, you'll probably find (at least I often do) that after giving them time to settle, you'll be much less excited about some of the ideas you've noted down. For Lewandowski, this worked as a kind of process of elimination.

‘Many of the ideas at the fat end of the funnel didn’t get much further because that passion wasn’t there — either for me or for others in the room,’ he wrote.

But I also love that Lewandowski pointed out using passion as a filter for your ideas doesn't necessarily mean you can only work on life-changing ideas. You just have to care about them enough to bring them to life.

‘Not everything that goes into the wide end of your idea funnel should be utterly change-the-world-I-have-to-make-this-happen-at-all-costs, yet at some point in that funnel from idea to product, someone will have to be personally convicted of the idea and want to fight for it.’

You must say "no" to some ideas you want to execute. It's pretty much inevitable. It's important to get used to looking at your ideas objectively and choosing the ones that have the best chance for success or support your goals, and letting go of others (or at least putting them aside for a while)…”

Speaking as a creative person, I believe my thoughts of substance are generated through a process that honors the manifestation of such thoughts. It isn’t about putting pressure to generate ideas but more about creating a space that respects the process.    

Tell me about your process of thinking, when, where and how it works for you.

Altruistic Expression

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

It really doesn’t matter what side of the track we grew up on, privileged economics or challenged; it is important to share with those less fortunate. If you were economically challenged and your childhood was filled with a need for more, step up for those children suffering today. Why? Because you know what it feels like to be deprived.

I believe altruistic people are miracle workers. I love the warm energy that fills the room from someone who authentically cares about others. This sense of community is really contagious. If you are part of a group of volunteers, you know how this energy empowers; it feels like the sun.

If you are part of a family that helps others, I’m sure this gift of love is instilled within you; tap into it and make the world a better place.

Since I started volunteering in a shelter in my community and at a hospital, my life has been positively charged. I do not give a lot of time to the hospital, but prioritizing a few hours a year lifts my spirit. I wouldn’t trade this feeling for anything. I’ve never been a volunteer of the week, month, or year, and I’m sure my future doesn’t hold this recognition, but I’m good with this! My heart grows each and every time I devote any time to others in need. It's really sacred. 

I hope my actions have instilled altruistic traits within my kids and will play a part in their world as they enter adulthood. This would be a beautiful legacy to leave!

What are your thoughts; all for one or one for all?

The Gift from Being in the Trenches of Behavioral Chaos

The book, Your Mother Wears Combat Boots by Williams E. Wilson

Williams' book is inspiring and I encourage this good read! You get to have a glimpse of a young psychologist as he steps onto his career path. I like William Wilson's candor in describing his encounters at the school for challenged teens in Detroit. I can only imagine the trepidation he experienced as a new graduate stepping into the trenches with teenagers as a first job; these adolescents had been thrown out of other schools not once, not twice, but at least three times before being sent there.

William struggles to find innovative ways to reach these kids. His efforts eventually seeded success as a teacher-student learning environment was resurrected in his classroom.

He spends three years at the school teaching, and although this time is short-lived, he finds his way through the turmoil and positively influences the boys. Not only does he make his mark, but his students also make a mark by instilling lifelong impressions upon him, gifting invaluable insight for his career as a psychologist. His time with the boys made William want to work in the human services field, helping to perhaps proactively counter the effects of poverty, broken homes, inner city hardship, and other adversities kids face.   

He practiced in the field for over 30 years before retiring, pursuing his passion for photography and now as an author.

I encourage you to click here to purchase his book.  Be sure to use the link; otherwise, you might mistakenly purchase one authored by someone else. William Wilson’s book will be a heartfelt read!

Belief in Self

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

I like the recommendations detailed on Inc.com about improving self-confidence. Here are some of their suggestions:

“…Never accept failure. There is a solution to everything, so why would you want to throw in the towel? Make this your new mantra. Succeeding through great adversity is a huge confidence booster… Learn everything there is to know about your field, job, presentation--whatever is next on your "to conquer" list. If you are prepared, and have the knowledge to back it up, your self-confidence will soar… Sit down right now and make a list of all the things in your life that you are thankful for, and another list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Once your lists are complete, post them on your refrigerator door, on the wall by your desk, on your bathroom mirror--somewhere where you can easily be reminded of what an amazing life you have and what an amazing person you really are. If you feel your self-confidence dwindling, take a look at those lists and let yourself feel and be inspired all over again by you.”

Many times, for me, inside, it feels like I am dying a slow death, but on the outside, I push myself to dive into whatever I am reaching into that is new. Many, many times I think, “What the heck have I got myself into” as I’m stepping into the intimidating realm but I am loyal to my word so once I commit, I attempt to follow through. Sometimes, I’m happier in the aftermath, and other times, I’m just happy to put it behind me. I figure this is it, so why not get out there and try to reach for the stars. I do use a very simple mantra when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I say, “I’ve got this” and I just keep telling myself this until I’m through the experience.

Perhaps this isn’t the healthiest of ways to motivate, but if I feel like my fear is trying to hold me back, many times I get angry about it, and the energy generated from this anger trumps my anxiety, and this allows me to ride the wave, so to speak.

The healthiest way to embrace any experience is to enter it with a curious energy. When we can do this, we are mindfully present, and this mindset enables us to fully process whatever we are experiencing.

I am fearful often, but I also realize that I need to push through this fear to enable my growth, so, whatever it takes, I push forward and overcome. It usually works for me, and sometimes it doesn’t, but the trend is more positive than not.

How do you rate your own self-confidence? What helps you get through adversity? Share your secrets with me!

Magnetic Powers

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

I’m offering details about magnets' power, but scientific data does not support this healing market. Considering this, why are so many people buying into this potential cure?

It is a really interesting topic, and there is a lot of online research, much of it talking about how this forum was used even thousands of years ago. Does this mean it works? No, not really, but it means we’ve been working with magnets for a very long time, and for some reason, they are still being used as a holistic healing option. WebMD discusses that the body generates natural magnetic fields such as the nervous system. From a basic perspective, if someone is having issues with their body’s magnetic field, perhaps exposing this individual to another magnetic field, one used in a medical forum might offer relief? Can one speculate that it could alter the body’s field in a positive way? I am far from a scientist; this is all very much over my head, but there are specialists in the world, and I’m hopeful further research will link healing abilities with magnetic fields.

I believe in the power of the mind, and perhaps those who offer testimonies of magnet healing truly believe this, but could their mind have overpowered their illness instead of the work of the magnetic fields?

Who knows, really? But I know this for sure: if the use of a magnet were to make me feel better, I would continue to use this magnet!

What are your thoughts about this potential healing source? Have you ever tried to use a magnet to ease your suffering? Did it work? Leave me a note.

Life's Equilibrium

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

A recent news story about the Moth Story Slam detailed on Detroit’s Channel 4 news inspired this article. This Moth Story Slam is sweeping the nation. It is where individuals go on stage to share 5-minute true stories from their lives; it is theme-based. The forum allows these individuals to be heard. Stories may be funny, sad, upbeat, and so on. On the update broadcast, I heard a guy talking about his challenge to balance his life equilibrium, and this resonated.

It seems like I am always chasing a mind, body and spiritual balance. Most of the time, I work to align one while the others become a lower priority. As of late, it's my physical body; I shared about 1 month ago that I started the Body Shred program. What I like about this is that it works on physical balance, but this also gifts some spiritual balance; I’m experiencing a yin-yang. Of course, this is challenging because I feel like I’m dying a slow death each morning as my body hurdles awkwardly through the workout, but in the aftermath, spiritually and psychologically, it feels pretty awesome.

I’m prompting a change for a healthier body. Both halves of this change are chasing each other, but as long as I continue on my path, I will better myself, and the halves will come together, charging the vibration or rhythm of my life equilibrium.

What yin-yangs are you going through in your life currently? Are you able to grasp both sides of the whole? Tell me about it.

Two Minds

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

I sincerely believe that when we develop trust-worthy relationships, sharing our life troubles and times of triumph is worthwhile. This is how we learn and how we grow. Holding onto hardship privately only feeds a dark energy. It creates deeper pain, and the secrecy surrounding it suppresses toxins. If you have a trustworthy loved one, lean on this person and allow the interaction to relieve your psyche. If you do not have anyone you can trust, reach out to your community. Many non-profit organizations are ready to interface with you if you just reach out for help. These workers will speak to you confidentially and be there so you can unload your heavy burden; many do not charge for this service. Safehouse Center in Ann Arbor, Michigan, is a domestic violence shelter, but the crisis line offers referral numbers and a compassionate, trained worker who will be empathetic and nonjudgmental to any crisis you are suffering. If it isn’t DV-related, the crisis worker will still provide feedback in the form of phone numbers for other businesses that specialize in helping you with whatever you are suffering. The crisis phone #, which is staffed 24 hours a day/7 days a week, is (734) 995-5444.

Stop holding it all in. Does it really feel healthy to do this?

If you can afford it, therapy with a professional is worthwhile to explore. If you haven’t already tried it, give it a shot because your well-being is worth the extra effort.

You can even share your burden with me through this blog, and I’ll do my best to offer sound feedback. Even if you share Anonymously, it will still help. Think about it and get back with me, I’ll be here waiting.

Birthday Celebration

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

 

This past week I had my 46^th birthday and we celebrated my son’s 19^th birthday. It seems like July gifts many births, including the birth of our freedom, which is celebrated on the 4^th of July (along with my brother’s birthday). We took our RV up north into the Upper Peninsula for a few fun days. While we were leaving Brimley, Michigan, we actually got caught up in a 4^th of July parade, it took us an extra 45 minutes to get out of the town but it was definitely something to talk about. I had been in a celebratory state of mind, and the parade was icing on the cake!

Here is the birthday detail that blogthings.com shared about my birthday; 7/1/1969:

“You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet.

You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.

Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.

You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.

Your strength: Your supreme genius

Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity

Your power color: Gold

Your power symbol: Star

Your power month: January”

PaulSadowski.org offered this, which I like, “Your fortune cookie reads:

Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later.” I guess this helps to energize my hope!

Whether you view this stuff as entertainment or take it seriously, it’s fun to sort through. Give it a shot, and drop me a note with your thoughts. I’m curious.