To Make a Living or to Make a Life

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo - If you feel love, you have wealth!

I am making a living today in my new career. This means I’ve stepped onto the right path but still must make great strides to move forward. This “making ends meet” place for me is temporary. I have a much greater vision than where I am today. And I am motivated to get there. I have the intent and, better yet, the talent to enable so much more than the status of where I am today. Although I have found my way to feel grateful for the emotional and physical space where I am visiting, it's sacred. It is all part of the process, and these experiences that I am trudging through are very much necessary for me to grow. I see and feel worthy of a life that gifts not only to me but also to my community.

I want to leave a legacy that continues to support others when I am no longer physically here on this earth. At this point in my life, I foresee my vision manifesting within the next decade. If you do not know me, you may wonder what my age is or how devoted I am to my cause, or maybe you believe I am living in a pipedream, but I assure you this is all very real. As I type this today, I am 46, dedicated, and passionate about my life. I am fortunate to have my health, a wonderful support system, and the talent and intelligence to create all I envision. This is the wealth I see in my life today. My bank account may not be overflowing now, but my life is already abundant. I have the right mindset and feelings to energize all necessary for growth, and I’m worthy of it. I believe this wholeheartedly! What do you think, feel, and believe about your life today? These are important questions. Hopefully, you’ll take them seriously! I believe you are worthy of more. Tell me if you believe it.

Overcome Anxious Situations

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I am a serious fan of positive thought and the power of the mind. I have written many articles about shifting our energy from toxic negativity to a positive mindset because it lightens the burden and does much more for the soul. I was recently working in a domestic violence shelter, and someone had talked about using focal points to help a survivor get through a dreaded day in court where her assailant would be present. This inspired my post to offer another tool to your life's self-help arsenal.

I remember being extremely nervous when I had to go on stage during my school graduation ceremony. I didn’t even have to speak, but the auditorium was filled with people, my loved ones included. I could feel all of their eyes on me, which stressed me out; I was shaking. I was only up there for a few minutes with the university president when I was given the top counseling student award. While they spoke very kindly about my work, the sight of my family in the audience was my focal point. Seeing them being supportive and feeling their love helped soothe my anxiety, and it really did get through my anxiety.

It isn’t so good to distract yourself from the present. However, redirecting towards connection when trying to combat self-imposed suffering such as anxiety can really help.

What do you use for healthy coping tools? Drop me a note, and let’s talk about it!

Are You Imprisoned by Unhappiness?

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If you feel unhappy, look in the mirror and try to look beyond the unhappy person looking back at you. You are perpetuating the reality of the present moment, but it doesn’t mean it is your doomsday. Yes, it may feel easier to be sad and depressed or angry because it doesn’t take much work. But, your lack of attention to a healthier life, YOUR HEALTHY LIFE, is a toxic choice. Aren’t you worth the work?

It is time to take your finger off the self-destruct button (a bit of Dr. Phil's lingo) and choose to live with a head held high instead of dwelling in the trenches of unhappiness.

If your life feels dark, start by physically turning on the light. Take steps to oxygenate your body mentally by engaging the mind in a positive thought and spiritually by sparking your faith, a faith in you that can surface the triumphant survivor instead of the victim.

Looking in the mirror, I see a hard-working individual who is strong and persevering. I see a triumphant survivor. Of course, I also see a lot of areas of imperfection. This is because I am not perfect, and neither are you. All we can do is strive to become better versions of ourselves, but the key is to like ourselves, in all our forms, along the way!

Whatever you hate, find a way to love it. You must love the wrinkles, rolls, scars (physically and emotionally), the highs and the lows; it was all in the making of you, and as you learn to love, you’ll find it easier to change the areas that need reworking so you become a better version of yourself.

What are you trying to change? I am trying to tone my waistline. I would love to have less muffin-top and more muscle tone. I am a work in progress. I’m getting there. I lost 11 inches off of my body this summer with the Body Shred program. What might help you? I challenge you to change your mindset; a little positivity can go a long way; it really does work. Close your eyes and feel the light and love I am sending you right now! Can you feel it? May it seed great changes for you. Check out Psychology Today for more information about self-hate.

Unplug and Reset for Healthier Sleep

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Some of my best writing is created in the late nighttime hours, and, just like many others, I need to prioritize my self-care and include time to unplug from technology as part of my bedtime routine.

I am not devaluing technology. I appreciate the wealth of information at my fingertips, but I am also grateful for a good night’s sleep. And, if too much of one is negatively affecting the other, then alignment is necessary; balance must be achieved to create a healthier life. As a norm, technology doesn't help with insomnia. 

Mostly, I can set my phone down before I go to bed and leave it alone. Anyone in my immediate circle knows my home phone number; therefore, they can call my home if there is an emergency. It is not my goal to check social media in the middle of the night, but when I can’t sleep, I like to surf the net or write. When I do this, I leave my bedroom to avoid distracting my significant other from sleeping, but the reality is that stimulating my brain in the middle of the night isn't healthy. If your nighttime routine is interrupted by the distraction of technology, be sure to use the light filters on your devices so your natural melatonin isn't negatively affected. 

Besides unplugging, I like to unwind from the day by sitting in my massage chair as often as possible to relieve tension before crawling beneath the covers. Ideally, I love to meditate, too; however, it's a rare occasion when I successfully embrace it in my routine. But when I do, it sets the stage for a celestial night’s sleep.

When I’m conscientious about my sleep, I do not drink water and/or caffeine in the evening hours; otherwise, my sleep is interrupted several times by bathroom breaks or tossing and turning from caffeine.

This may seem basic, but it has been helpful to me. Sleep is critical to our mental and physical well-being. Without setting the intent to protect our sleeping hours, the head continues to perpetuate thoughts, and the body stays stimulated. 

What are your thoughts about sleep? Do you unplug at a certain hour? What else is involved in your bedtime routine? Let me know what works for you. Check out the Sleep Health Foundation for more information on technology and sleep. 

A Space to Honor You

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I like the quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., "Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."  However, my love once showered my home, the house where I live today. It felt cozy, and I loved this space when it felt like it reflected a life filled with hope. But, as my marriage fell apart and the love dissipated for my ex-husband, the walls suddenly became dull, the energy of my home space felt like it seeped away, and I was left feeling exhausted in a toxic space. The home I once loved felt so harsh and unwelcoming. As the life drained out of me, it drained out of my sacred space. I hated feeling so uncomfortable there; my home turned into a house. It was a traumatic experience, and it took some time to regain my momentum and recreate my space. I repainted, used white sage in my home to clear the negativity, rearranged and replaced the furniture, and implemented Feng shui. I meditated, drew, wrote, and returned to a healthier me. My children were a big part of my recovery as I leaned into their well-being, and we worked to feel our cohesive energy again. As my spirit surfaced, the house was revamped and again became my home, a container holding safe and sacred love. It is possible to clear a space and make it your own. You can do it through heart work. I had projected much of my pain outwardly, became aware of this, and then grieved to release it. To learn more, check out Everyday Health. 

It might sound silly, but there is a difference between living in a house and living in a home. My hope for all of you is that your space honors your well-being and gives you a therapeutic hug every time you step into your home. I believe home is truly a space outside your body that is your essence; it’s your heart space, much like the quote's meaning that was shared above. 

What are your thoughts?  

Cultivate Positivity in Your Life

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo- Cat Collage I drew with oil pastels; my creative spirit helps me to cultivate positivity.

The blog post, blog.bufferapp.com, discusses how most decisions are based on the subconscious mind. Our conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg, representing a small percentage of our full mind, 12% conscious and 88% subconscious. It also states that negative words are often not recognized by the subconscious. For example, if you are trying to quit a bad habit like eating sweets, you might say, “I’m not going to eat sweets,” but the subconscious doesn’t hear “no or not” and instead embraces the message, “I’m going to eat sweets,” and suddenly you are craving them. Instead of saying what you will not do, frame your intention with your positive focus on change. You might instead say, “I’m going to eat healthy foods like fruit and vegetables to improve my nutrition and, therefore, my health.” This sends a message that aligns your conscious and subconscious mind.

It is tough to replace negative thinking and negative words, but the more we can practice, the more positive we will become. It is a work in progress, like most anything we try to alter. It takes time. Remember, self-awareness is necessary first to determine what our reality reflects, and then we must identify our triggers by determining what is causing the negativity. It is possible to change this behavior. If we continue to tell ourselves we are worth the work, we will see our perspectives changing into glass-half-full thinking instead of half-empty.

I used to be a person who worried and stressed a lot. I saw the world through unhappy, fearful eyes, which caused me a lot of hardship. Once I realized the power of my mind, I worked to control my thinking by redirecting it, and this was a variable that empowered much change in my life. Positive thoughts rule my thinking today, inspiring and motivating me to continue pushing forward. I do have glimpses of negativity, but when it happens, I recognize it quickly and is short-lived.

If you want a healthier life, start by changing your mindset. You can overcome it with practice, and the shift in thinking will manifest greatness beyond your wildest imagination!

Give it a chance, and let me know how it works. Need more information, check out the Mayo Clinic. 

Why Procrastinate

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I include myself in the population of people who procrastinate worldwide. I just finished my Master’s Degree, and I’m currently awaiting my State Limited License in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Over the next few years, I will have to pass a state test and eventually put in 3,000 supervised counseling hours to become fully licensed (drop the limited portion of my LLPC). I’ve been feeling the need to start studying for this exam. Although I’ve been gathering materials, I haven’t fully embraced the material yet. But, I am wondering why I’ve been procrastinating, 

After researching the topic, I realized that we all procrastinate occasionally, but the people who put things off often have more issues with the wrath of procrastination, guilt, stress, and overall anxiety, which eventually causes health issues.

I was happy to realize that I am not an avid procrastinator. The more I thought about it, I was probably just tired after the effort I put into my degree, and I’m giving myself a bit of a break from studying, considering I just finished an almost 3-year school program less than a month ago.

I’ve been busy this past month. I went out of town twice, got married, and threw a party, among many other things. My routine is undergoing a lot of transition, so I have to give myself time to adjust and remember that I, too, need downtime. Self-forgiveness is a must when we are being unkind to ourselves. It is easy to feel shameful or guilty when the “should of or could of” line of thought sabotages us. I’ve said it many times before, we get more accomplished with self-love than self-cruelty.

If you’ve procrastinated, I hope you feel better after reading this. Perhaps it will motivate you to put your thoughts into action, as it has inspired me. My friend, there is no time to embrace the moment like the present! Reflect on what is beneath the surface, and with a little grace for self, motivation will soon surface. Let me know when it does! To learn more, check out the New York Times to understand what might be blocking your motivation. 

You’ve Made It, Now What?

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I am an overachiever. I continue to reach and reach higher and higher as I move through life. Although, sincerely, I am quite humble. I’ve never said, “Okay, I’ve arrived,” because everything leads to the next thing, and with each milestone, I can be caught saying, “Now what?” I realize that making it is purely a thing that happens in that pivotal moment, and although it may take much effort to achieve, it is only a moment. I am not taking away from the process of gratitude and appreciation for an accomplishment. Processing where I’ve come from and today’s arrival is worthwhile, and celebration honors this milestone; it's part of the journey that is important to recognize.

For example, I have just achieved a Master of Arts Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, and for this, I am grateful. It was a lot of hard work, and it took time, but as I sit here today with my degree, I realize my work in counseling is just beginning. I can breathe a little easier with my new credential, but I certainly cannot give up; I must reach the next bar. This means finding a counseling job to officially start my counseling career. But the key here is that I have to intertwine my life with joy, and this joy must be present in some way at all stages of my journey. This happens by ensuring we're doing things we’re passionate about. For example, I am intrigued by psychology relating to our brains, emotions, behaviors, and everything else. What does this mean? Even though it was a lot of work to achieve my Master’s Degree, I enjoyed learning about the field. I also enjoyed going through the process with my cohort; I was blessed with wonderful classmates, and we’ve created a network we can lean on moving forward. This is the kind of stuff that gifts bliss along the way.

It is important to realize that we are all in the process of “making it” regardless of where we are individually in our life journey. Success is fluid; fundamentally, we can build upon it repeatedly as we evolve. If you recognize this, you’ll find a way to continually strive for a better you and appreciate all you are in the present moment too!

Let’s celebrate your latest accomplishment. Tell me about it so I can honor your hard work too!  Are you feeling joy? If not, check out the Harvard Business Review to learn how to reexamine several variables of mindset to better understand why we might continue to strive for things but may not be happy with our successes.  

Understand Resistance, What's the Message?

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I used to deny my resistant feelings and push them away as I felt the discomfort, but today, when something is nudging me from inside, it raises my awareness. Then I self-examine to better understand what is going on with me. I go into reflection mode to ask myself a lot of questions.

Is something triggering me that I need to work on? My feelings may be driven by unresolved past issues. For example, I had a bad experience with someone, and suddenly a new person might remind me of the person in my past. If that is the case, it isn't necessarily a problem with the new person, but my unresolved past is projecting into the present and possibly blocking me.

Another question I consider is, "Am I resistant because of fear?" I can get anxious when pushing forward in unchartered territory in my life. I must work to enable my logical self to surface when this happens. Rational thinking can sort out misbeliefs or worst-case scenario thoughts, and positive self-talk helps me handle anxious situations. Still, it can charge the anxious energy if I am not careful or purposeful.

Finally, sometimes my resistance is my intuitive self surfacing and trying to navigate away from something that isn't in my best interest. I call this celestial intervention, and I genuinely appreciate the insight. It is important not to underestimate gut feelings, so, in this case, this resistance is a good thing.

My work on surrender and self-attunement has helped me navigate such a powerful feeling. Can you share your thoughts about resistance? How do you handle it? 

It is helpful to consider your feelings as messages from your mind/body. Check out the Mental Health Coalition to learn how to respond to your feelings.