Are you comfortable in your skin

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Love who you are!

For the most part I have been comfortable in my skin and confident in my abilities but it hasn't always been this way. And, my confidence continues to grow as I continue to appreciate who I have become. I really do believe I am a survivor; I'm a successful person who can handle just about anything that comes my way although maybe not in the most appropriate way at times. It doesn't mean I don't react or struggle before I find and navigate my path forward, it just means I recognize the challenge and figure out a solution before it gets the best of me! Really, if we can't count on ourselves, who can we really count on?

Below is the article I wrote in November of 2009, before the Examiner closed its doors and took the content down.

Are you comfortable in your own skin

Regardless of the class you fit into, your age, gender, color, shape or size, the way you carry yourself as you maneuver through your life impacts your success.  Are you comfortable in your own skin?  Your thoughts about you, even if you are not verbalizing them, affect your body; how one feels and acts.  Do you have a presence that commands positive attention or does your demeanor influence people negatively?  Every person you know is flawed, the difference is most people do not become disempowered by their imperfections instead, they figure out how to accept them so they are perceived favorably by the world, which is empowering! 

Learn to love your flawed self and offer this authentic being to the rest of the world!  You’ll find, after a little practice, it is easier than you would think and you’ll realize how draining self doubt and negativity is, once you are able to free it.  

Start by countering any damaging thought with an encouraging one. Any time you speak negatively about yourself, add the word "but" to it and reframe it positively with a countering statement. Maybe you are overweight but you are healthier than you used to be. Your health can be the foundation to facilitate a new commitment to walk daily enabling you to slim down. Harshness isn't going to motivate long-term change but self compassion will encourage this.

Look into the mirror and force yourself to find a compliment. This might feel conceited and seem really hard at first but it is a worthwhile venture!   Work on your posture; someone slumped over might suggest laziness even if you are a very active person. Finally, smile. You’ll be surprised how contagious it is; people will reciprocate your cheerful gesture. 

Regardless if you are teaching a class, meeting for a first date or interviewing for a new job, it is critical to remember, you are your best investment.  Let your comfort emanate through your pores and present a confident, cool self to enable success by attracting positivity into your life!

Living a Life Imprisoned by Dementia

Here is my Examiner Article interview Patty Wilson as it was posted in November of 2009 prior to them closing their doors and removing the content from the Internet:

Living a life imprisoned by Dementia

A stylish, born sales person with an eye for art, Patty Wilson used to work for an upscale gallery as an art buyer. When asked her view of the world prior to the diagnosis she exclaimed, "I loved being around people and beautiful things!" Living a life imprisoned by Dementia for over seven years, Patty is adamant to continue to push forward; she doesn't want to be "Pitiful Patty." She doesn't want to give up although she is fully aware of the disability and in her words, "Life is going to take over me. They don't know what it is and it is happening to so many; it's a killer, a disabler!" She has had to make a switch to the basics in order to cope with her illness.

Her advice for others supporting someone with this type of disability, "Kiss them, tell them a joke to keep them laughing and keep them surrounded by loved ones and babies. If they like something, help them to do it as much as possible!" 

She used to love taking walks and although she can't walk by herself now, she is able to still enjoy strolls in the park on the arm of a loved one. Patty lit up when she described her latest shopping find, Easy Spirit athletic shoes. She beamed, "I used to fear I would slip and fall and hit my head, but now I can walk, little things like these shoes help me feel more in charge! She continued, When my family has things organized; what I'm going to eat and do next, it takes the scariness away from me."
 

Patty has loved music all of her life and the songs still live in her heart. Many times during the interview she sang lines of sweet melodies. Patty reiterated she would never have been able to get through her disability without having such a loving support system; she is extremely grateful for her family and friends, she sang, "We are family!"

When asked how she wanted to be remembered, Patty responded, "Oh, I do not think I can answer that." Although she was unable to verbalize a reply, the connection we shared for just a few short hours offered a silent knowing. Patty's disability might blur her past but this just heightens her present moment; the most mundane experience is priceless. Why would she waste any thought about being remembered, she is still very much alive. Patty is looking to the future and trusting her support system, knowing she still has a lot of joy to embrace even within the boundaries of Dementia!

Click here to learn more about Dementia


I was touched when my friend Jude suggested I meet Patty to learn and share some of her insights. She is such an extraordinary woman; I struggled with the Examiner's 200 - 400 word limit for this article. I could have written so much more. Patty was her Mother's main support during her struggle with Dementia. She had forgotten she served this role; her eyes welled up when Jude reminded her. Patty is a very sensitive, loving, intelligent person who lives to laugh. She told me her job now was to help make other people happy when they're feeling sad. Patty couldn't remember if she had gone to church in her previous adult life but she was sure she had lived her life genuinely helping others whenever possible. This is apparent when I learned of her family support. Her ex-husband, John (Jude's brother), welcomed her into his home and took care of her for 3 years (15 years after their divorce) and he continues to actively participates as a loving caregiver. She lives with her son, Jesse, and his wife, Molly in their home and her daughter, Olivia, is also a strong support for her. Jude, along with others in Patty's circle of love contributes much loving care by sharing precious time with her as built into Patty's weekly schedule. Jude kissed Patty’s forehead several times during the interview when her emotions surfaced as she shared her story. Patty told me there was a time when she thought she didn't have any people but she knew now that she was wrong. She communicated she had a lot of thanking to do. I replied by reminding her that the people, in her life today, are a testament of the love she shared and I'm sure they are thanked everyday when they see her smile and hear her laugh! I'm so grateful for the opportunity to meet Patty Wilson!

Healing power of laughter

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Keep your silly inner child alive!

Healing Power of Laughter

My wit was gifted to me by my Father who kept us laughing through a financially strained and traumatic childhood. My parents did the best they could and I recognize this, understanding my upbringing made me the person I am today. Humor has offered comfort to me during the most stressful and sometimes inappropriate times. I can't think of a better way to detox than shedding tears of joy through laughter. I'm so grateful for the times I've lost my composure to uncontrollable bouts of this therapy. I wish this for everyone. This is the type of "epidemic" the world could benefit from; help me spread the power of laughter!

This is the Examiner article that was originally posted in October, 2009, prior to them closing their door and removing the content from the Internet.

Healing power of laughter

Humor is one of the best home remedies for pain. The healing power of laughter is very therapeutic. This rhythmic sound begins deep within the core and opens passages as it travels through the lungs and out to the world. Each outbreak causes a gasping motion enabling oxygen to better fill the lungs.  The breathing affects are similar to those achieved during meditation.

Have you ever laughed so hard your face and stomach hurt afterwards?  The activity actually provides a workout for your stomach, chest and facial muscles. This is the only workout that comes to mind as being genuinely contagious!  If only the gym offered the same affect the world would be a much healthier place.

Have you ever laughed so hard it made you cry? These tears of joy are priceless.  They actually help detoxify the body. During a laugh attack, the body also releases endorphins providing a natural pick me up for anyone partaking.

Enjoy a therapeutic retreat from your pain and melt your stress away by sharing a belly retching laugh with a friend. Remember to take as many self-created, authentic and natural happy pills as possible and allow this healing power of laughter to awaken your spirit!   

Click here to learn more about laughter medically. 

Circle of Love

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Circle of Love

I feel extremely lucky to have such a wonderful support system in my life. I do not consider myself a “needy” or “high maintenance” person and maybe this is why I have people who will swoop in to help me in my time of need. I try really hard to give back to my community and help others when possible; this might be why others are willing to help me too. I also believe in karma and perhaps the good energy I give out as an adult, loops back in gifting me with some of this love! Whatever the reason, I feel blessed even when challenge surfaces. This is the article I posted in 2009 before Examine closed its online doors and pulled my content.

Circle of Love

Regardless of how strong or weak you feel, when you are confronted by a life crisis support is critical for overcoming your challenge. Many of us lean on our family and friends or perhaps a professional counselor or psychologist to seek aid during a crisis. This informal “circle of love” is part of our survival. It validates our existence and brings companionship to the isolation triggered by the problem. 

What if someone isn’t fortunate enough to have a circle of love in their life? Healthy support can be found within your surroundings.  You must recognize the need for it and be conscientious of the help lines available to enable your support. Depending on the dilemma, something as simple as sharing a few moments with your pet can offer soothing, unconditional and non-judgmental love. If you have spiritual beliefs, prayer can calm anxieties and your church can offer words of encouragement. A medical outlet might help facilitate a path to your solution or your starting place might begin with a local resource such as Washtenaw County’s United Way 211 call center. Regardless if you have basic needs, require physical or mental support or you looking for financial assistance, simply call (734) 477-6211 or 211 (from a cell phone) for a list of local options. This state certified call center devotes its time and efforts towards finding resources for life's predicaments.    

Next time you feel like life is turning upside down and you realize you’re not functioning at your best, reach out to find support and utilize or create your circle of love!

Click here to learn how to build a personal support system.

Words of survival

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I continue to feel Louella in my heart!

Words of Survival

I'm hopeful the words of wisdom written below as communicated by my neighbor in October, 2009 is as inspiring to you as it was for me when I was even more awe-inspired by Louella's strength as the interview educated me about her life filled with such hardship. She feels her journey, thus far, has been filled with more good than bad. Of course, this glass half full perspective is the foundation of her world. Louella is truly grateful for the time she has had on this earth and I'm fortunate to have moved next to such a great neighbor. I can only hope some of her wonderful characteristics rub off on me!

Here is the article as it was originally posted on Examiner.com before they closed their doors and took the content off of the Internet:

I’ve used this forum, thus far, to offer advice for overcoming anxiety and hardship. It is only appropriate to finish my first week with the Examiner by sharing some insightful words from a remarkable woman, someone who has and continues to triumph over tragedy. Let me introduce you to Louella Gaines from Augusta Township in Ypsilanti, Michigan.  In her own words she is, “A tough lady!”

Louella’s heartbreak started early in life with the loss of her Mother at the tender age of three. Being the youngest of ten children, she was fortunate to have been loved and taken care of by her older siblings.  Later in life, she mourned the loss of her newborn baby and she also bereaved the death of her adult son, Don. She has endured a 40 year battle with cancer: overcoming a Hysterectomy, breast cancer (Mastectomy), the loss of a lung and kidney and frequent bouts of skin cancer (Melanoma) requiring necessary on-going extractions. Louella’s routine often includes weekly trips to the doctor’s office.  She doesn’t enjoy going to the doctors but as she puts it, “The alternative isn’t a choice.” When I asked her if her battle has been worth it, she replied, “Yes, it is worthwhile for me and my family. I am happy to be alive and doing well!” 

She credits her success to her support system; the love from her family, strength from her 61 years of marriage to her husband Gene and faith from her relationship with God. Suzanne, her daughter, explained that her Mother’s strength comes naturally, “It is a part of her; she never had an option to be anything other than strong.” What advice does Louella offer someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer? She said firmly, “Listen to the doctor and get the surgery if necessary!”  What does she say to someone who is afraid to go to the doctors? “Go, learn to trust your doctor, develop a relationship with him and be very conscious of your body."

I imagine someone who has endured such a devastating journey might justify living their life resentful and intolerant of others but this isn’t Louella, she exudes the warmth of a caring, gentle soul.  She continues to stay positive offering a “for the best” attitude and thanking God every day for her life.

Click here to learn about cancer survivorship.

Surviving a sudden life hardship

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Surviving a Sudden Life Hardship

I have overcome many hardships in my life. I am a survivor who is grateful for not only the blessings but the suffering that has blessed me with lessons learned. This month (October, 2009)  is my 1 year job loss anniversary. I don’t even remember seeing the colors last fall, which is actually my favorite season. I walked around like a zombie, numb at first, and then later my emotions turned into confusion, embarrassment, anger and eventually I felt hurt. After the initial impact, I was eventually able to free my feelings, embrace the situation and find my silver lining. Suddenly I had a flexible schedule enabling me to explore my artistic inspirations and then  begin marketing my drawings and writings. Today, I’m grateful for the opportunity this time has gifted. I trust myself, and I have faith my new career will generate enough income to support my needs and because of this, I’m a much happier person!

This is the mindset that inspired the below article that was originally posted on Examiner.com before it closed its doors.

It seems our life journey can be very trying at times but in hindsight the experience really prepares, gifts strength and offers insight for future endeavors. Sometimes we feel fortunate, we had a close call and only the tip of an ice berg surfaced and, other times, we are less fortunate and it feels like the iceberg just took down our ship leaving us gasping for air! 

When such tragedy strikes and our worst fears come to pass, it is so important to be present; to feel the situation. Do not choose to ignore it hoping it will go away; denial is not the answer it only prolongs the agony. It is scary to embrace a fear but it is necessary to begin to process in order to free the negative energy.  Otherwise, your raincloud will turn into a severe storm if you are not processing.  Have you ever had a bad moment turn into a bad day that turned into a bad week and so on? Your destructive reaction to the drama fed the bad energy. Let’s face it, we’re all human and therefore, most of us initially react to drama negatively. Beyond the initial reaction, we have to figure out how to get over the impact and how to find something positive from the misfortune to change our energy. This is the foundation that will enable us to move forward again! This grounding course of action is essential for us to start to find our footing. Once the initial shock is over and the impact is felt, we can process the situation and begin searching for its silver lining.  What lesson can this hardship teach?  If we can find something positive from the trial, maybe the glass is suddenly half full instead of half empty. Perhaps, now we are more educated and less naïve, maybe we are more cautious or maybe we found friendship, someone we may have never met without the mishap. It is critical to take something from the ordeal; this validates the encounter and helps us to avoid reliving the tribulation time and time again. 

We all know the old sayings, “live and learn” and “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  This strength carries us through life’s valleys and instills our appreciation for life’s mountain highs!

Click here to learn about resiliency from trauma.

If you can relate to this, I invite you to share your story!

Grounding Your Anxiety with Nature

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This was my 1st article posted in 2009 in my healthy living column at Examiner.com. Unfortunately, the business closed it's virtual doors last year (after 5 years of posting)
 and all of the content was pulled with them. I've copied the article in below. After the article I shared my inspiration for creating it.

How to Ground Your Anxiety Using Nature

Even the most happy, healthy souls have moments of despair.  During the hustle and bustle of everyday life, demands can be overwhelming causing anyone to feel exhausted and off-balance.  Confusion sets in and suddenly you’re unsure where to turn; crippled by anxiety.  When you are feeling stuck, this is when it’s a perfect time to take a step into nature to gain some clarity.

Have you ever looked up during a rainstorm to discover a breathtaking rainbow?  This is such a validation of universal hope; a promise of sunshine beyond the daunting storm.  It radiates new found warmth; a treasure from deep within and riches that reach well beyond any bank account.  Being one with nature is the foundation for self-discovery and the path to get back on track.  When you feel the whirlwind of life rushing through your veins, spinning you out of control; take a stroll through the woods, in the park or just down a neighborhood sidewalk. Mindfully take in the beautiful backdrop; inhale the sweet fragrance of a wild flower or freshly cut grass.  Be still and let this moment ground you enabling easier and deeper breathes.  If you are not able to find a rainbow, or inhale nature’s engaging fragrances then create a blissful moment of your own.  Nibble on a tantalizing piece of seasonal fruit.  Retreat from your anxieties by mindfully experiencing nature’s nectar by biting into a sweet strawberry. What a beautiful  counter to the rush and distress from all of your obligations.  Revitalize your spirit with a few delicious bites! 

Whether you find your moment of grounding through natural visions of beauty, sweet aromas or tastes of nectar, allow this process to balance a world sometimes filled with confusion and chaos.  You just have to recognize your own need and fulfill it by tapping into the tranquility and peacefulness gifted from our great earth; practice letting nature sooth and renew your spirit!

Click here for helpful resources to counter anxiety.

This was the inspiration to the article:

This past week I've started driving with my son, Jeremy. He is 14 yrs. 9 months and he just received his phase 1 driving permit. I'm really thankful this is taking place in the Fall. I am extremely anxious getting into the vehicle with him! He is really doing great but his inexperience scares me. He ran out to my vehicle with permit in hand, the 1st day it was legal, asking, "Can I drive us home from Driver's Ed today, Mom?" I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, pulled to the side and slowly moved to the passenger seat. My uneasiness soon started to dissipate as we drove through the Michigan Fall colored landscape. It wasn't long before he was pulling into our driveway safe and sound! I was physically present with him but I certainly appreciated the beauty surrounding us and I was able to pacify myself using it as a security blanket! I'm hopeful you are taking in nature's beauty wherever you are and that you are present enough to be awe-inspired!