Bereaving the loss of a husband

Photo provided by Patricia LaBean taken at their
 40th Wedding anniversary party.

The loss of Buck LaBean, my father and Patricia LaBean's husband (my mother), has been the most traumatic thing any of us, in my family, has been through. We've all leaned on eachother and with each day that passes it seems we're stepping on the path of healing. Interviewing my mom and asking some personal questions helped me discover that she is doing better than I expected with her bereavement. My mom is a really strong person but she is living with a broken heart hoping her time left on earth is minimal. It is sad to accept this but I realize her world has been shattered and it will take some time for her to recover and find peace with a new life without my dad. Her persevering spirit inspired my article, which I posted on Examiner.com in November of 2009. They closed their internet doors years later and took down the article, which is posted below.

Bereaving the loss of a husband

As Patricia LaBean, of Belleville Michigan, placed her order for funeral flowers, May of 2008, she told the florist at Steins Nursery, “Fifty years ago in July, I was here with my boyfriend ordering our wedding flowers!” After living her life with her childhood sweetheart, her beloved husband, LaVern LaBean (known by all as Buck), she was devastated by his death. 

She communicated her biggest fear was to live by herself after being used to having someone with her; someone who shared all of her experiences and then all of a sudden he was gone! She offered advice to anyone who is suffering the loss of a loved one, especially through the holidays, “You don’t realize what you have until you lose it, you take them for granted because you think you’ll go on together forever and this isn’t the case.” Her message was clear, “Be thankful this Thanksgiving, and every day, for your family!” 

She continued, “It is hardest for me at night when I’m trying to sleep, thoughts go through my mind. I know it is bad to say but sometimes I feel like I’m just existing, waiting to die, waiting for my turn. At first things that reminded me of him like his birthday (November 25^th), certain songs, flowers, a Coke (he retired from Coca-Cola) made me sad but now, it makes me happy. I feel him around me and I know I’ll see him again someday.” When asked what she misses the most about him, Patty responded, “His sense of humor, he was always such a character, he kept me laughing all of the time!”

With time, Patricia is learning how to better cope with the grief from the loss of her husband. The support from her family, the unconditional love from her pets and her faith in God enables her to get through each day. 

Patricia and her family received a heavenly blessing they believed Buck helped orchestrate from beyond the grave. Her Grandchild, Jennifer Booth, gave birth to her first Great Grandchild, Kylie Madison Booth, born on May 20, 2009.  This was exactly one year, to the day, after her husband passed. This sweet little baby will help the family mourn Buck’s death with an annual gathering celebrating her life. It is a true miracle!