Perfectionism Stifles the Human Experience

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

“In a perfect world…,” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used this phrase; our world is far from perfect, and I believe this to be good. Without its flaws, it would be mundane. Think of all the triumphs in your life; had the world been perfect, you would not have had those experiences. My quest for perfectionism just about killed me in my young adult life. I was adamant that I had to be the perfect mother, cook, housekeeper, wife, daughter, sister, employee, and so on, and this didn’t work out so well for me. When we put all our energy into being perfect in all areas of our lives, we drain ourselves physically and mentally. We become disappointed with ourselves and those who surround us, too. We expect too much, the impossible day after day!

I think the intent is good beneath the expectation, we just want the best in our world, but we’re not considering that the best is still flawed. We have to be realistic, and when we can do this, we stop sacrificing our peace of mind and energy, which is really too precious to give away unnecessarily.

My creative spirit, over the years, has helped me to come to appreciate my flaws. When I mess up in a drawing or work of art, I now try to embrace it and work to make this new attribute part of the piece. It may not have been in my original vision, but it was something that came to the surface and exposed itself, and I believe this was a piece of vulnerability that needed to come forward. When we can focus on the good stuff in life instead of trying to control an outcome and just put forth our best, somehow the universe helps put the pieces together, and it all works out.

When I think of all the time I have spent worrying about things that were out of my control, I realize how I sacrificed my health. Today, perfection still rears its ugly head, but I am a bit quicker to notice it and then realign by pulling back the reigns a bit. I’m getting there. How about you? It's a hard habit to break because often people think it's helping them. But is it really?