Deflate the Air in Despair

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

When we are in the midst of despair, we have inadvertently imprisoned ourselves in a self-created hell. The walls that lock us in are intertwined with our own overwhelming feelings coated with murky thick emotions. It snowballs uncontrollably into a disastrous path of self-destruction; it is hard to believe we end up there, and it seems unintentional, but it truly is self-imposed. Again, like I said in the article, it doesn’t mean you are not suffering hardship, but this mindset exasperates the problem.

Most of us have been there and it a pretty scary place to be. How do we get there? The feeling of being ambushed by life’s turmoil from circumstances such as betrayal, loss of a loved one, divorce, job loss, loss of health, and other traumas that are unfortunately part of our world, all of which have been part of mine, causes a lot of suffering. I’ve been there, but fortunately for me, I found an ember of hope in what seemed to be a hopeless situation; it was burning deep within, so the feelings of despair were short-lived. Although the hardship surrounding this experience was not, it took a long time to overcome. We cannot always avoid pain when hardship is in our lives, although we can sometimes minimize its wrath. I remember feeling despair when I gave up hope on my marriage; as I looked into my children’s eyes, it crushed my spirit, knowing I would be raising them in what felt like a broken home. But I also knew raising them in an unhealthy home that was full of rage instead of love would be worse, so I pushed forward. I gathered my courage and hope because of my love for my kids; it was greater than the hardship itself, and it was my lifeline. Yes, we’ve had some difficult times, but we have survived. When I stepped forward as a survivor, I wasn’t being victimized by my situation or my fear any longer. My desperation was behind me.

It is easy for us to feed the energy of hardship and when we do, it gets the best of us. It takes work to step out of it, start telling yourself, “I've got this,” and accept that you will survive any pain that manifests. Why? Because you are no longer a victim, you have taken back your control as a survivor.

Talk to me; I'm here listening. Let's shine light where we focus; it feels better.