"Should of" Thinking

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As a recovering perfectionist, “should of" thinking has caused a lot of anxiety in my life. What do I mean by this? It sabotaged any effort for genuine rest in my young adult life. Instead of relaxing after a hard day at work, I would torture myself with a running list of all the chores I should be doing, and then I’d force myself to spend hours on stuff that, in the big scheme of things, was really insignificant. In these early years, I cheated myself from true self-care in an attempt to be perfect in everything, over-achiever mentality.

As I’ve matured, I have realized the value of my own thinking, priorities, and passion, and let’s not forget the importance of mindfulness - being in the present moment is to our lives. I am not obligated to do anything besides what I decide is important. If I value it, I’ll be in the action mode instead of motivating from guilt.

Self-kindness and soul-searching why we are doing something is a better strategy for navigating decisions and efforts aligned with values. If we fully embrace this moment, we’re not thinking about what we should be doing; we are fully present and not in our heads. Why do we feel so obligated to standards that are often unrealistic? Whose standard is it? If it were something of value to us, we wouldn’t have to torture ourselves into action.

Perhaps as a positive spin, think of all we’ve done instead of focusing on what isn’t enough!

I’m all about self-love today. What about you?

Mind, body and spiritual upkeep, continued...

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Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

What is your self-care routine? I have increased my significantly since I’ve entered my forties. I have embraced flossing daily, double brushing, daily vitamins, lots of water, more helpings of fruit and vegies, less red meat, and more prayer and mediation. I have noticed, although I try to stay active daily, my exercise routine comes and goes. For example, I didn’t go to the gym this weekend but I did work hard in the yard cutting down dead flowers and getting it ready for winter. I’ll be very sore tomorrow and, this is my way of knowing, my activity is working me out just fine, at least for now!

I exfoliate and give myself facials at least once a month. I get massages when I can afford it and I read a lot. I’m in a Master’s program so I have absorbed many textbooks over the past 2 years. I continue to challenge myself through new endeavors and I am creative often. I love writing, drawing, cooking, problem-solving and serving others in creative ways.

I have tried many types of holistic healing processes and I will continue to engage in this world. It is sincerely intriguing to me.

I have a lot of short-term and long-term goals such as, finishing my masters in counseling and then serving others in this role. I want to finish writing my second book as it has been taking me far too long. I will marry my fiancé in the near future, and continue to travel when we can. I hope to get accepted into a doctorate program and obtain a doctorate in Art Therapy. Eventually, I want to open a clinic in southeastern Michigan.

As a woman, I serve many roles and while I do live in the present, I am keeping my eye on the horizon. And, with all of this on my plate, it is important that self-care is a priority in my routine.

What are you doing to better you as you grow older? What is your self-care routine?