Visionary leader Ken Druck, continued...

Ken in Paris. Photo credit Lisette Omoss.

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Ken Druck’s latest book, The Real Rules of Life, is dedicated to his earth daughter, Stephie.

He explained, “I gave Stephie a plaque with the cover of the second page; she has hung in there the last 16 years since the loss of her sister Jenna. She has been a significant support to me and she had suffered a horrendous loss. Stephie has been an amazing source of strength and she is my hero. This is why I dedicated the book to her; she is a very wise young woman, Jenna’s younger sister.”

Ken talked about his support system after the loss of his 21-year-old daughter Jenna.

In his words, “We received a lot of help; mostly from our friends. There were some very supportive professionals who helped us through some rough patches; 75% were good friends there when it mattered and 25% were mental health professionals who helped us.”

He learned more about his profession during these times. Ken shared, “We discovered in the process that very few mental health professionals were grief literate. A lot of what we’ve done through the Jenna Druck Center (Ken created after his daughter’s death) is train and educate to increase the level in the mental health profession. After 911 I did a lot of training with clergy because people didn’t want a religious spin, ‘Your husband is with God now so suck it up,’ whether it was a psychological or religious spin, this left people feeling clueless. There needed to be an upbringing and we were very much a part of this training. We handed out protocols; many of these were adopted in the Whitehouse relevant to how to help kids coping with the death of a parent or sibling.“

Ken’s closing words, “My newest chapter is working to make the Jenna Druck Center a sustainable organization and writing my book based on my life and the families I’ve worked with. It focuses on the tools of surviving and creating new lives, what we’ve learned and what do we bring into that; what is the higher expression of ourselves.”

You can contact Ken through his facebook page, DrKenDruck, through his website, kendruck.com, or email him directly at  ken@kendruck.com.

Ken Drucks interest in helping people, continued...

Photo credit, Lisette Omoss 

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Dr. Ken Druck continued our interview, “My daughter Jenna was the single-most remarkable person I’ve ever known; she was on a study abroad the world. I received a phone call from India in the middle of the night telling me she and three other young women had died in a bus accident not far from the Taj Mahal. Pictures of their bodies appeared on the front page of India Today.”

Ken’s creation and devotion to the Jenna Druck Center honors Jenna’s life and spirit She is their CAO (Chief Angelic Officer).

Ken shared some thoughts on grief literacy. “Grief is a normal response to loss, our world is turned inside out; everything we thought we signed up for, “Plan A” is in ashes. Our sorrow, anger, confusion and humility are choiceless.

We survive one breath at a time.  One day at a time is too much.  In survival mode, we need to take care of ourselves as if we’re in the ICU with a huge gaping wound in our emotional heart.  Survival is surrounding ourselves with and allowing support. We have to take care of ourselves; we can’t force ourselves to try to be the person we were. Or allow ourselves to become sleep deprived.  We have to have a place to process our grief; to ease back to work. And, back to life in a new normal. There are harsh life lessons in grief. One is that life is not fair.  Another is that there are no deals.  We think life is fair and can feel betrayed or abandoned when bad thing happen. Many of us refine our understanding of God from being the puppeteer who watches over everything and allowed this bad thing to happen, to understanding that God is the force of love and goodness in the world.

Those of us who sit with our hands folded and don’t allow ourselves to vent, scream or release our anger, may have no constructive outlet for grieving.  They hold it inside and think they can hide, deny, repress, avoid, out-numb, outrun, out-busy or out-drink their sorrow. We’re challenged to find constructive outlets for all the emotions if grief so we can work through our losses and move forward.”

Ken further discussed the processing of emotions, “We all have an emotional system that allows us to process things of life. This natural system keeps the nutrients and gets rid of the waste. Most people still think that negative emotions like sadness and fear are bad.  Feelings are messages from ourselves to ourselves that help guide us to better, more truthful decisions, behavior and understanding.  We’re blessed with “angels” whop provide judgment free zones and judgment free friends.  They have no interest in fixing us.  They just want to support us.  The Jenna Druck Center has protocols to support another person in grief.

If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelming sorrow or anger, or stuck in  the dark trenches of grief, reach out for support.  It’s there!  None of us get’s through loss alone, or needs to.”

Click here for Dr. Ken Druck’s website, Facebook page, drkendruck or call the office at (858) 863-7825. Ken does coaching and consulting, locally and remotely by telephone.

Ken Druck and The Real Rules of Life, continued...

Photo of Ken's latest book, The Real Rules of Life

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I feel grateful I was called upon to review Dr. Ken Druck's book, The Real Rules of Life, Balancing Life's Terms with Your Own. Today, on my birthday, I was able to allocate a needed break and escape to fully embrace Ken's book. I found myself on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster as I related to Ken's message and turned the pages reading through his latest work.

Each rule is unique but essential. I think my favorite is, "Losing It Is Finding It" where Ken talks about a surprise ceremony for the 15-year anniversary of the Jenna Druck Center, an organizatin he created the year his daughter Jenna passed. I had to choke back tears as I read about the ceremony and how Ken had lost it emotionally during the ceremony and then he described how he had actually gained so much as each of the girls patted his back showing their support of his work and appreciation for helping each of them. His daughter had created a girl's leadership program and Ken continued this work after her death; 400 participated in the ceremony.

I am someone who has worked hard over my career to keep my emotions out of the office and my business world. In the days of hospice while my father was on his death bed and then after his death, I was unable to keep my emotions in tact. I too gained from this experience. I realized it is okay to be human and to mesh my worlds.

Ken's words are extremely insightful and helpful. He is to the point and frank but, at the same time, inspirational. I feel much more in tune with my journey after pondering Ken's words of wisdom. Anyone would benefit from reading, The Real Rules of Life. It is truly a must have!

Click here to explore Ken's Website.