Showing posts with label influence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label influence. Show all posts

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Mirrored emotions, continued...


Lifetime Art Impressions LLC, photo

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:
Here is a portion of the insightful article about change and influence, from lifehacker.com, that I referenced in my Examiner article.
“You're probably familiar with Stockholm syndrome-the term used to describe how hostage victims tend to develop positive feelings towards their captors. Stockholm syndrome isn't a kind of brainwashing by the captor; instead, the victim adapts to the poor situation he or she is in. If most people can adapt to something as awful as being kidnapped, most people can adapt to smaller positive changes in their own lives. provide yourself with the proper influences. …and also look at how your environment and the people you know shape your life.
If you've ever found yourself making out-of-character decisions based on your emotional state—such as binging on ice cream after a breakup—you know how easily your feelings can overtake your actions. Rather than letting your emotions lead you towards poor judgment and irrational behavior, however, you can learn to compensate for different emotional states and to fabricate emotions to alter your mood. In order to do that you need to, simply put, get in touch with your feelings. The idea isn't so much to cry into a pillow about your wasted childhood, but understand what you're feeling when you're feeling it, what the root cause is, and what you can do about it. We're going to take a look at how you can dissect your emotional state to use it to your advantage, and also look at how you can fabricate emotion to change how you're feeling.”
Lifehacker’s recommendations to initiate positive change:
·      “You can't really control your emotions if you don't understand them, and one of the best ways to understand them is to take an acting class. To some this may sound fun, and to others this may sound like hell. Love it or hate it, acting lessons are one of the best ways to explore how and why you feel certain things. Your goal should be to find a class that will make you uncomfortable every time you go. In my experience, any class teaching the Meisner technique is very effective if you put a lot of effort into the exercises. It can be slow, tedious, and uncomfortable, but it's capable of bringing out emotion you might not realize you had.
Your emotions aren't in full force if you're not really doing anything, so you need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations in order to bring them out. This doesn't mean you should make yourself feel horrible, but that you should go out and do things that you might resist because you're worried about the downsides. Meeting new people is something that makes most people uncomfortable, and it's a great place to start, especially if it's a first date. Try new things that scare you. If you notice you're glued to the couch and don't want to get up, do the opposite. Spend time with people you don't like. Go to a movie you're sure you'll hate. Your experiences won't always be pleasant, but they should incite emotion that you can later analyze and better understand.
 Like an abbreviated diary, every time you have an emotional reaction to something, write it down. You don't need much detail, but just a sentence or two noting the emotion you're experiencing and the (possible) cause. For example, I get extremely irritable when I'm hungry. I will lose my temper far more easily when I'm hungry, so whenever I notice myself thinking irrational (and sometimes hateful) things, I always remind myself that I'm just hungry, I'll eat in a minute, and the "asshole" who accidentally missed the garbage can and didn't notice is mostly a result of my frustrated stomach. Until I started to pay attention, I never really noticed that I was a jerk whenever I was hungry. Instead, I just thought I was a jerk. This is a simple example, but the point is this: pay attention to how you feel and the other issues currently present, and you'll find it much easier to manage your negative emotions.
Fabricating emotion is difficult. Once you understand your emotions you'll find it a bit easier, but it helps to be able to recall how it feels, physically, to emote. We all know how to smile, for example, but you can probably count more fake smiles in family photographs than you can real ones. If you don't know how to create an authentic smile (also known as the Duchenne smile), it will be very obvious to everyone around you. The easiest way to learn to fake expressions is to practice them in the mirror. You can try them out to see what you look like and you'll immediately know if they're passable or not. You'll also note that it feels physically different to create an authentic-looking emotion than it does to create a fake-looking emotion. For example, an authentic smile shows more in the eyes than it does in your mouth. When someone smiles a true smile, their eyes wrinkle (creating "crows feet") because a new musicle—the orbicularis oculi muscle—is used. You'll come to remember this feeling and be able to replicate it away from the mirror after a little practice. It's not necessarily easy to emote in front of the mirror, but that's not as hard as you think. If your goal is simply to learn to smile better, you'll get there if you just stare at yourself for awhile. Eventually it will get so ridiculous that you'll have to laugh… If you need to change your mood and your mindset, the ability to fake it ‘til you make it is very, very useful.”

I was thrilled to find this article online today. If you click on the Lifehacker link above you’ll be able to read much more than I’ve shared in my pieces today. They go on to discuss how you can “prime your brain” and, of course, it gives the support information relevant to this. I am becoming more and more intrigued by how the brain works. I feel like going out and buying a model with the labeled areas so I can fully appreciate each part and better realize the individual function and how each area interfaces with the body. I’ve learned a lot in the past year about this remarkable organ but I have so much more to learn.

What are your thoughts about outside influences? Do you feel you are easily swayed by environmental variables? Leave me a comment and let’s discuss it.



Thursday, January 31, 2013

Source of influence, continued...


Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:


As of late, I’ve been studying influence and things that shape us, in my Lifespan Psychology class.  We had to write a paper that discussed what, from our childhood, has shaped us today. Below is an insert from my paper:

“As a young adult, I had to recognize and own my temper in order to manage it and avoid repeating the aggressive nature my father displayed most evenings when he came home drunk. Because my dad picked inappropriate fights with my mom almost daily and she coped with this, subconsciously, I absorbed this type of bullying tactic.  Although I never stuck my ex-husband, I was verbally abusive (as was he) and I threw things, like my father did, when we argued.  I inadvertently tainted the balance of our partnership in an effort to make sure I was not viewed as submissive.  I also, unknowingly, chose an alcoholic partner.  I was able to take ownership of my negative behavior, dig into its origin and positively change my negative actions before I had my children. I realized also that I had to stop enabling my husband’s drinking problem and therefore after his refusal of treatment, we divorced.

I was fortunate that my father actually found religion while I was in middle school.  He replaced his drinking addiction with God and this, in turn, gifted our family with a healthier environment from that point forward.  Although I rebelled with drugs and alcohol during my early adolescent years, I matured quickly and reached for a brighter future.”

I think about the affect of these years and, if I wouldn’t have gotten a handle on my temper or I had got lost and stuck in this “partying” crowd, my world would be dark today. I’m grateful for my path, it has taught (and continues to teach) me critical life lessons. I’m hopeful, by sharing what I learn and my experiences, I can inspire someone else to move through the darkness and to step into the light!