Photo and painting created by Bertie Stroup Marah
Click on
the below article link to obtain background information to this blog:
Bertie’s book synopsis,
“The story begins with Bertie recalling a day in 1942 when she was three years
old and pees her pants to gain the attention of her mother, Bee. Bee had led her own tough life when her
family fled from Oklahoma to New Mexico during the dust bowl and depression
era. At age fifteen, Bee is seduced by an older man and becomes pregnant with
her first child, Willie. The father of her child comes from a strict religious
family, but refuses to marry her and abandons her and the baby.
Bee later met and married a handsome
cowboy named Lee Hollan Tracy, who accepted her son as his own. Bee and Hollan
have two more children, Jessie and Bertie. Hollan was a government trapper,
which caused him to move his family from one trapping camp to another in remote
areas of New Mexico. The children make the best of their isolated world by
creating imaginative adventures. Unfortunately, the fairy tale marriage of
Hollan and Bee ends when Bertie is four years old after Bee discovers her best
girlfriend’s silk pajamas in Hollan’s bedroll. The distance, animosity, and
subsequent divorce bring grief for Bertie and her brothers and sparse,
bittersweet visits from their father.
Bee’s second marriage to
P.G. Anderson produced two daughters and more hardship as they drifted from one
inferior shanty to another. For a brief time they gained reprieve from their
desolation by staying at P.G.’s mother’s farm in the Sacramento Mountains near
Weed, New Mexico. On the farm they savored all facets of farm life until the
family was forced to leave the mountains so P.G. and Bee could find work. The
only home they could afford was an abandoned boxcar in Artesia, New Mexico. It
was in Artesia, that P.G.’s drunken brother nearly killed Bertie’s
eight-year-old brother, Jessie with alcohol poisoning.
After unsuccessful
employment, Bertie’s family then returned to the mountains where they lived in
a tent in a sawmill camp. There, she and her brothers enjoyed running free and
playing in the forest. That is, until her parents turned to drinking for relief
from their dire circumstances. As a result of the heavy drinking they were
forced to move to Hot Springs, New Mexico for P.G. to receive treatment for a
kidney disease brought on by alcohol.
There they lived in a
tent on the Rio Grande River, catching fish to supplement their diet, and
bathing in the hot springs because they had no running water or showering
facilities. When they ran out of food and money, Bertie’s mother went to work
in a night club rolling dice in illegal gambling games. In return for cleaning
house for an elderly couple the family was allowed to move into their garage.
At seven, Bertie and her brothers helped care for their two younger sisters
while their parents worked long hours and spent longer hours drinking at the
bars. Their poverty resulted in humiliation for Bertie at school when her
teacher made fun of her stringy hair and when she had only a dime to spend on a
Christmas gift exchange. Desperate for food, Bertie describes the shame of
becoming a “criminal” after stealing a candy bar from the local store. One
night at work, Bertie’s mother found a twenty dollar bill, which allowed the
family to move to Albuquerque, where they stayed briefly with Bertie’s
grandparents. Their poverty was made more bearable by the family’s love of music,
singing, and dancing.
After
moving back to the Sacramento Mountains, Bertie’s stepfather found work at a
remote sawmill camp and Bertie and her brothers boarded with a widow and her
family in order to attend school. Mrs.
Douglas, a school teacher, invited Bertie to live with her and she was
introduced to a life unlike anything she had experienced in her nine years.
Mrs. Douglas taught her manners, replaced her ragged clothes and bought toys
for her. In spite of all this new life offered, Bertie missed her siblings and
concern for her younger sisters’ well being compelled her to go back to her
family. Upon returning to the family she took on even more duties as caregiver
while her parents continued to drink heavily and work long hours.
Life grew more turbulent
as she and her siblings were exposed to bar fights, which usually spilled over
to their home life. Through all of this, humor helped the children cope. Bertie
describes in hilarious detail the home dances they attended and the mischief
her brother, Jessie got into, including setting the house on fire.
During all this time,
Bertie knew she was talented, but did not have the materials or encouragement
to become an artist. In the fifth grade she won a prize for art and was
convinced that her talent was her way to a better life. When her older brother
Willie was offered an educational opportunity by one of his teachers their
mother refused permission for him to leave home. After that Willie lost
interest in school and left home at sixteen because he could not tolerate his
parents constant drinking and fighting.
Bertie
was eleven, and her brother Jessie thirteen, when the family left the mountains
for the last time to move back to Artesia, New Mexico. This time though, Bertie
and Jessie refused to go with them. Instead of forcing them to go, Bee left
them to fend for themselves in a house without running water or electricity.
After a couple of weeks Bertie agreed to go with the family, and a month later
Jessie followed after their beloved dog, Sarge, was poisoned. Their poverty was
not improved by their move to Artesia and their clothes invited ridicule.
The family then moved to the oilfields
in northern New Mexico where they, once again, lived in a tent, but were close
to relatives. Shortly after that move, Jessie, who had grown intolerant of
P.G.’s drinking and abuse, went to live with his father, Hollan.
Although Bertie wanted
to stay with her Grandma Counts, who instilled confidence in her, taught her to
sew and encouraged her to become an artist, she realized that because of her
parents’ unruly life style and drinking, that her younger sisters still needed
her stability.
At thirteen, Bertie
enrolled in the eighth grade at the local school. She was determined to shed
her earlier traumas and humiliations. In a period of four years Bertie made
cheerleader, majorette, homecoming queen attendant, carnival queen, and even
performed in class plays. Her sewing ability came in handy and she designed and
made many of her school uniforms and clothes. Bertie continued to draw and
paint with cheap paper and pastel crayons and was proud to show off her
efforts. This was a happy time in her life in spite of her parents’ drinking
and violence.
Disappointment came when
Bertie graduated from high school and realized she had no means to obtain
formal art training. It would be years
before she could overcome her despair and work to become an artist. With
limited opportunity and to escape her turbulent life at home she married Larry
Stroup and had two sons.
It was after a move to
Western Colorado that Bertie’s parents decided to change their chaotic
lifestyle. After visiting them and witnessing the positive change in their
lives, Bertie fell in love with Colorado and moved her family there as well.
Bertie worked to help
support her family and continued to help her parents when they moved from one
old house to another as part of P.G.’s ranch jobs. She continued her close
relationship with her siblings and shares many funny antidotes of their lives
together.
In addition to raising
her sons, Bertie gradually started working at becoming an artist, joining
artist groups and painting on her own. Unfortunately her marriage was steadily
deteriorating.
In 1982, after a neck
injury and with her marriage failing, Bertie, 43, began to suffer from severe
clinical depression. Without the proper medication, and unable to fight the
pain and despair of depression, she attempted suicide by shooting herself in
the chest. A divine intervention from God allowed Bertie to survive and after
receiving the correct medication for depression and recovering from the
gunshot, Bertie made changes in her own life. She ended her bad marriage, quit
the job she disliked, and started painting full time. Her paintings rapidly
improved and so did her health, both physical and mental.
A year later she met and
married Mike Marah and started realizing her dream of becoming a successful
artist. Bertie has been published in magazines, conducted workshops, did solo
shows, and was kept busy with gallery demands.
A serious bout with breast cancer in 1993 could not throw her off
course. She underwent chemotherapy and has been cancer free ever since.
In 1990 P.G. died of
cancer. He faced death with a courage he had never shown in life. Her mother,
Bee lived another ten years. Bertie took care of her mother at the end of her
life. It broke her heart to watch this strong, determined woman reduced to one
dependent on others for her every need.
Writing this book was
painful for Bertie at times and although her family was uneducated,
anti-social, neglectful alcoholics, deep down they had loving hearts and helped
make her the person she is today. It is with pride that she tells their story.”
She
discussed her life now, “My life today is good. I force myself to replace
bad thoughts with positive ones. I encourage everyone to do the best they
can to be happy, forgive
themselves
for making mistakes.”
Her closing
words, “I have always used humor to get through the tough times in life.
Laughter is
the BEST medicine.”
