Surviving four near death experiences, continued...

Click the below link to my Examiner article, Rick's interview, for background information to this blog entry:

Examiner article

I never had any clue when I met my boyfriend's brother, Rick Raths, how much tragedy he has survived in his life. I'm sure, after learning all he has been through, his aches and pains must be pretty severe although he wouldn't admit this. Even beyond his last noted accident, Rick continues to battle and survive life's challenges. One of his daughters, Mackenzie, at age two, was diagnosed with and, several years later, has overcome Leukemia. I'm sure his strength and faith runs through their bloodline! They are a remarkable family and I'm lucky to have the honor to interface with them!

Surviving an epileptic brain tumor, continued...

Click the below link to my Examiner article, Ashley's interview, for background information to this blog entry:

Examiner article

My niece, Ashley LaBean, is a force of energy that, thankfully, can explore and devote her efforts to whatever she chooses throughout her adulthood. She is grateful for her life today after all that she and my brother's family has been through. I'm regretful that I wasn't as close to their family to have offered more support during their time of need. I offered prayer but not much physical help. My life, at that time, was consumed with the duties of a single Mother & a job that took my time and energy 24/7. Today, I realize, and it is apparent in Ashley's interview and through all of the other survivor articles, success in everything comes back to the strength from family! How is the relationship with your family?

Your destiny is within your reach, continued

Click the below link to my Examiner article for background information to this blog entry:

Examiner article

I believe 100% that we all control our own life destinies. I also believe you attract like energies into your life and therefore it is critical to stay positive. We are all human and can't stay upbeat all of the time but we can make an effort to improve our attitudes. When I'm feeling down, I realize it is OK for me to be miserably but I set a limit to it, depending on the reason, I might allow myself a few hours or the weekend. Then I get back into the swing of my mission to help others and provide a comfortable life for me and my family through honest, hard work! I've got a long way to go but I am confident that I can do anything I want. I've put my body, mind and spirit into my new healing arts career and I have faith it will reach and help many people including myself along the way. Are you focusing on bringing positive energy into your life???

How to Overcome the Winter Blues

The below article was written for my healthy living column years ago and it was eventually was taken down when the Examiner shut down. Since then, I have updated the article for my blog and I'm posting it today, February 6th, 2022. I hope it resonates with you and gifts inspiration and hope. 

Winter’s dark and cold weather can be tough to cope with at times. The scaled-down hours of sunlight can cause feelings of lethargy and press against thoughts of productivity. The discomfort from cold weather outside and the emotional distress we carry can create barricades, leaving us confined inside and feeling isolated. These winter blues encompass feelings of frustration, disappointment, lack of motivation, sadness, and guilt or shame; all of which take away from the routine of healthy habits. 

What can be done to offset such feelings? Not everyone can fly somewhere warm for a few months to escape and for those of us who can't, it is essential to focus on and find silver linings. What about the breathtaking glistening scenes outside your window? Have you stopped to appreciate the view? Maybe it is time to awaken your inner child, embrace the season instead of avoiding it and bundle up to build a snowman, have a snowball fight or enjoy a sled ride or brisk walk and embrace feeling the vibrant air. What about a drive through the snowy landscape? If you are anxious about the driving conditions, try to schedule outings around the weather, carpool, or schedule a Lift to step out of your bubble and help counter any driving anxieties.  

What about incorporating the weather into a new exercise routine? Perhaps, you can try to cross country ski or if you're not able to embrace your adventurous spirit, spend some time shoveling snow to help offset and balance your diet. I shoveled the driveway today and it was a good cardio activity. Turn your time of solitude into time for healthy self-indulgence; take warm baths, give yourself a facial, pedicure, or cozy up to a romantic fire with a chai tea or hot chocolate along with the company of a good book.

Be creative and keep your mind active; meditate, read, listen to music or find a comedy to uplift your spirit. Catch up on your sleep because it is critical to your mental and physical health. According to the Ezine article, How Long Should We Sleep, adults should be sleeping 6 to 9 hours per night; use this time to shut down and rejuvenate. The bears understand winter and hibernate for self-nurture, what amazing creatures; they know how to be healthy during the winter months!

As a mental health therapist, I realize the importance of being conscientious of our feelings and also the need to be receptive to change unhealthy patterns that can easily become active without us realizing it. We have to push through feelings to implement the changes necessary to overcome the winter blues; this might mean pushing yourself to pick one task a day that you can do differently than you did the day before like choosing to get up and shower if you didn't yesterday. If you have been open to change but your attempts to counter the negative feelings continue to be unsuccessful, contact your doctor to make sure you are not suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). If so, this can be controlled through medicine and therapy. There are many online sources you can visit like the MayoClinic to find more information about SAD and learn helpful ideas about how to counter its effect. 

It just takes a subtle shift to change an unhealthy habit into a healthier trend. I believe that you can motivate yourself to implement healthier change. So, with the close of this article, take a deep breath and make a commitment to yourself by picking what task you will do differently starting now to create healthy movement forward; take it one baby step at a time, my friend.

As I'm signing off, I'm sending you light and love. Know that you are in my heart and that we can get healthier together, one second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year at a time! I have faith in the both of us💞

Warmly,

Kathy

Ideas to ease holiday stress, continued...

I created the below article and posted it on Examiner.com in 2009. Several years later they closed their internet doors. If you have found your way to my words, I hope they offer some stress relief to you!

This was my blog post, which inspired the article listed below it.

When I worked full time, I can't even begin to imagine how I handled everything, especially during the holidays. I think I've turned soft; I feel like a wimp now. It is hard to believe but I'm stressed even serving within my new stay at home life! I think maybe the truth is, I've increased the expectations of myself as an attempt to overcompensate for not getting a payroll check. Perhaps someday I'll be able to give myself a break; accept myself without giving me far too many "to do's" which actually set myself up for failure! Why do we do that to ourselves? HELP!!!

Ideas to ease holiday stress

Trying to find the right gifts while fighting economic issues, harsh weather, heavy traffic and busy stores can be exhausting and stressful this time of year.  Juggling your schedule to fit in shopping, decorating, wrapping gifts, filling out Christmas cards and socializing with your family and friends, all within a few short weeks, is extremely overwhelming.  Do you wonder how in the world you will accomplish it all in so little time?  Here are some helpful hints.

Start by making a list; don’t try to keep it all in your head. 

Recruit help, kids in your family or in your neighborhood are hungry for extra money, and most of them actually enjoy decorating and wrapping gifts.

Carry your Christmas cards with you and fill them out during spare moments; your lunch hour, waiting at the doctor’s office or while sitting in your car when you’re waiting for your kids when you have to pick up from school.  

Don’t spend more than you can afford; offset costs by shopping clearance items, comparing prices and bartering where possible.  Are you creative?  If so, gift homemade crafts or holiday baked treats.  If not, gift your time; busy parents or single parents will welcome a personal coupon to babysit for them for a future occasion, senior citizens would love to receive a promise coupon to help them with errands or tasks, your significant other will cherish a massage coupon or a night free of household responsibilities!

If you’re not okay shopping in crowds or you white knuckle your wintery drives, you still have some time to shop on-line and avoid waiting in line for Christmas gifts.   

Discuss your time constraints openly with your family, most likely they are struggling also.  Perhaps you can work your schedules around the holidays; plan your party for the week before Christmas or, better yet, the week after.  It gives everyone extra time to shop and you’ll benefit from the 50-75% discounts that start the day after Christmas!

Remember, every year, somehow everything necessary actually gets done.  Offset your stress by planning, asking for help, utilizing your spare time, gifting creatively, shopping on-line and scheduling holiday parties either earlier than the Christmas week or after.  This holiday take some time to warm up by a cozy fire, enjoy your loved ones and have some fun with even your most quirky gift; this is the true meaning of the holidays!     

Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC Photo- enlist help for gift wrapping or at least a buddy to de-stress with!

Nurturing young survivors of divorce

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Although it saddens me that I was unable to maintain a healthy marriage, I realize I did my best and, even considering the pain we all shared, I feel like my boys have survived, to date, as healthy as possible. My article is based on my own experience and although I didn't research it, the first article I looked at (and linked to) validates my advice. I know I can only control my impact on my kids and I believe my focus was and continues to be in there best interest. I've told them many times, I would do it all over again (even knowing how the marriage ended) because the love shared between me and their father did create them. I couldn't imagine my life without my boys. They truly make my world and I hope they feel the same way about me in some way! I've copied the original article in below that was posted on the Examiner before they closed their internet doors and pulled the content with them.

Nurturing young survivors of divorce

As parents, it is our primal goal to provide love, a healthy environment and encouragement to our children.  Everyone wants to mentor their offspring into successful, giving adults, perhaps raising the next President of the United States; after all, they are our future.  Today’s family structure is much different than the hierarchy of family from forty years ago.  Blended or single parent households are now more the norm as opposed to the Leave It to Beaver parental role models.  How do parents continue to nurture their young survivors of divorce as roles change and traditional family breaks down?

By, most importantly, creating a forum supporting honest and open communication; keep your children apprised (providing enough age appropriate information) of how their environment and roles will change even when you’re unsure of the outcome.   It is okay and part of real life to admit that you do not have all of the answers and although things will change, all will work out.  Hiding the truth and denying the change will only delay the inevitable and increase stress. 

Kids are very smart; they pick up non-verbal cues and then begin to imagine the worse as they take on unjust ownership for the turmoil.   It is essential to accept ownership for the failed marriage; both parents presenting a united front to the children.  If it isn’t possible to do this, it is necessary to communicate shared parental responsibility instead of verbalizing fault of your partner during the discussion with the kids.  Blaming their other parent only causes confusion and weakens your child’s self-esteem.   

Emotions will run high and there will be times when you lose your composure and strike out, with your children in your line of fire.  When this happens, acknowledge you acted inappropriately and apologize.  Show them your respect to enable theirs and gift and receive forgiveness!

Adolescents are resilient and they will emerge healthy.  Keep your focus on them; this will help you cope through the difficulty also.  Make a new routine welcoming love and adventure; even when you feel like hiding away from the world!  Enable your children to have options in your new routine and keep them busy.  Maybe, you set up Monday as game night or Friday as movie night and the kids take turns picking the games or movies.   

It is possible to support your children’s wellbeing during even the most troubling times.  By being honest, communicating, surrendering to change, offering respect and encouraging participation, you will counter the negativity of divorce and gift your children an environment promoting their healthy growth! 

Words of survival

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I continue to feel Louella in my heart!

Words of Survival

I'm hopeful the words of wisdom written below as communicated by my neighbor in October, 2009 is as inspiring to you as it was for me when I was even more awe-inspired by Louella's strength as the interview educated me about her life filled with such hardship. She feels her journey, thus far, has been filled with more good than bad. Of course, this glass half full perspective is the foundation of her world. Louella is truly grateful for the time she has had on this earth and I'm fortunate to have moved next to such a great neighbor. I can only hope some of her wonderful characteristics rub off on me!

Here is the article as it was originally posted on Examiner.com before they closed their doors and took the content off of the Internet:

I’ve used this forum, thus far, to offer advice for overcoming anxiety and hardship. It is only appropriate to finish my first week with the Examiner by sharing some insightful words from a remarkable woman, someone who has and continues to triumph over tragedy. Let me introduce you to Louella Gaines from Augusta Township in Ypsilanti, Michigan.  In her own words she is, “A tough lady!”

Louella’s heartbreak started early in life with the loss of her Mother at the tender age of three. Being the youngest of ten children, she was fortunate to have been loved and taken care of by her older siblings.  Later in life, she mourned the loss of her newborn baby and she also bereaved the death of her adult son, Don. She has endured a 40 year battle with cancer: overcoming a Hysterectomy, breast cancer (Mastectomy), the loss of a lung and kidney and frequent bouts of skin cancer (Melanoma) requiring necessary on-going extractions. Louella’s routine often includes weekly trips to the doctor’s office.  She doesn’t enjoy going to the doctors but as she puts it, “The alternative isn’t a choice.” When I asked her if her battle has been worth it, she replied, “Yes, it is worthwhile for me and my family. I am happy to be alive and doing well!” 

She credits her success to her support system; the love from her family, strength from her 61 years of marriage to her husband Gene and faith from her relationship with God. Suzanne, her daughter, explained that her Mother’s strength comes naturally, “It is a part of her; she never had an option to be anything other than strong.” What advice does Louella offer someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer? She said firmly, “Listen to the doctor and get the surgery if necessary!”  What does she say to someone who is afraid to go to the doctors? “Go, learn to trust your doctor, develop a relationship with him and be very conscious of your body."

I imagine someone who has endured such a devastating journey might justify living their life resentful and intolerant of others but this isn’t Louella, she exudes the warmth of a caring, gentle soul.  She continues to stay positive offering a “for the best” attitude and thanking God every day for her life.

Click here to learn about cancer survivorship.

Surviving a sudden life hardship

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Surviving a Sudden Life Hardship

I have overcome many hardships in my life. I am a survivor who is grateful for not only the blessings but the suffering that has blessed me with lessons learned. This month (October, 2009)  is my 1 year job loss anniversary. I don’t even remember seeing the colors last fall, which is actually my favorite season. I walked around like a zombie, numb at first, and then later my emotions turned into confusion, embarrassment, anger and eventually I felt hurt. After the initial impact, I was eventually able to free my feelings, embrace the situation and find my silver lining. Suddenly I had a flexible schedule enabling me to explore my artistic inspirations and then  begin marketing my drawings and writings. Today, I’m grateful for the opportunity this time has gifted. I trust myself, and I have faith my new career will generate enough income to support my needs and because of this, I’m a much happier person!

This is the mindset that inspired the below article that was originally posted on Examiner.com before it closed its doors.

It seems our life journey can be very trying at times but in hindsight the experience really prepares, gifts strength and offers insight for future endeavors. Sometimes we feel fortunate, we had a close call and only the tip of an ice berg surfaced and, other times, we are less fortunate and it feels like the iceberg just took down our ship leaving us gasping for air! 

When such tragedy strikes and our worst fears come to pass, it is so important to be present; to feel the situation. Do not choose to ignore it hoping it will go away; denial is not the answer it only prolongs the agony. It is scary to embrace a fear but it is necessary to begin to process in order to free the negative energy.  Otherwise, your raincloud will turn into a severe storm if you are not processing.  Have you ever had a bad moment turn into a bad day that turned into a bad week and so on? Your destructive reaction to the drama fed the bad energy. Let’s face it, we’re all human and therefore, most of us initially react to drama negatively. Beyond the initial reaction, we have to figure out how to get over the impact and how to find something positive from the misfortune to change our energy. This is the foundation that will enable us to move forward again! This grounding course of action is essential for us to start to find our footing. Once the initial shock is over and the impact is felt, we can process the situation and begin searching for its silver lining.  What lesson can this hardship teach?  If we can find something positive from the trial, maybe the glass is suddenly half full instead of half empty. Perhaps, now we are more educated and less naïve, maybe we are more cautious or maybe we found friendship, someone we may have never met without the mishap. It is critical to take something from the ordeal; this validates the encounter and helps us to avoid reliving the tribulation time and time again. 

We all know the old sayings, “live and learn” and “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  This strength carries us through life’s valleys and instills our appreciation for life’s mountain highs!

Click here to learn about resiliency from trauma.

If you can relate to this, I invite you to share your story!

Grounding Your Anxiety with Nature

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This was my 1st article posted in 2009 in my healthy living column at Examiner.com. Unfortunately, the business closed it's virtual doors last year (after 5 years of posting)
 and all of the content was pulled with them. I've copied the article in below. After the article I shared my inspiration for creating it.

How to Ground Your Anxiety Using Nature

Even the most happy, healthy souls have moments of despair.  During the hustle and bustle of everyday life, demands can be overwhelming causing anyone to feel exhausted and off-balance.  Confusion sets in and suddenly you’re unsure where to turn; crippled by anxiety.  When you are feeling stuck, this is when it’s a perfect time to take a step into nature to gain some clarity.

Have you ever looked up during a rainstorm to discover a breathtaking rainbow?  This is such a validation of universal hope; a promise of sunshine beyond the daunting storm.  It radiates new found warmth; a treasure from deep within and riches that reach well beyond any bank account.  Being one with nature is the foundation for self-discovery and the path to get back on track.  When you feel the whirlwind of life rushing through your veins, spinning you out of control; take a stroll through the woods, in the park or just down a neighborhood sidewalk. Mindfully take in the beautiful backdrop; inhale the sweet fragrance of a wild flower or freshly cut grass.  Be still and let this moment ground you enabling easier and deeper breathes.  If you are not able to find a rainbow, or inhale nature’s engaging fragrances then create a blissful moment of your own.  Nibble on a tantalizing piece of seasonal fruit.  Retreat from your anxieties by mindfully experiencing nature’s nectar by biting into a sweet strawberry. What a beautiful  counter to the rush and distress from all of your obligations.  Revitalize your spirit with a few delicious bites! 

Whether you find your moment of grounding through natural visions of beauty, sweet aromas or tastes of nectar, allow this process to balance a world sometimes filled with confusion and chaos.  You just have to recognize your own need and fulfill it by tapping into the tranquility and peacefulness gifted from our great earth; practice letting nature sooth and renew your spirit!

Click here for helpful resources to counter anxiety.

This was the inspiration to the article:

This past week I've started driving with my son, Jeremy. He is 14 yrs. 9 months and he just received his phase 1 driving permit. I'm really thankful this is taking place in the Fall. I am extremely anxious getting into the vehicle with him! He is really doing great but his inexperience scares me. He ran out to my vehicle with permit in hand, the 1st day it was legal, asking, "Can I drive us home from Driver's Ed today, Mom?" I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, pulled to the side and slowly moved to the passenger seat. My uneasiness soon started to dissipate as we drove through the Michigan Fall colored landscape. It wasn't long before he was pulling into our driveway safe and sound! I was physically present with him but I certainly appreciated the beauty surrounding us and I was able to pacify myself using it as a security blanket! I'm hopeful you are taking in nature's beauty wherever you are and that you are present enough to be awe-inspired!