Self-love

Photo: By Kathryn J. Raths (the front of a book container I painted)

In the short time I have been working at Still WatersCounseling, in Saline, Michigan, I have sincerely been blessed with a wonderful work environment, heartfelt coworkers, and supportive owners who are well-credentialed therapists. The client base that shapes my day-to-day existence has kept me focused and has continuously challenged me to go deeper within myself and into their worlds. I am intrigued by each and every person whom my path crosses. As I witness the transformation gifted by each individual’s therapeutic process, I learn something new daily. It is a very individual experience. While many commonalities exist in mental health struggles, each person brings a unique experience. What works for one person may or may not work for another; considering this, it becomes a discovery process and an adventure. But, much of the struggle is heightened and prolonged because of the view of self. When we face the world being unkind and harsh to ourselves (often, this is the underlying belief of being a failure or feeling a lack of worth), we cheat on our own successes. This distorted belief blinds us, robs opportunity, and cripples movement forward; it energizes darkness and more suffering.

By enabling self-forgiveness, we can manifest self-compassion. Without it, our energy will continue to drain, and although we may be strong enough to keep pushing, the fight will always be a fight, and we will never be self-fulfilled or truly give ourselves credit for all our accomplishments. You can be the most successful person through a societal lens, but if you do not love yourself, you will believe you are a failure. You, my friend, are worthy of the miracle of you and all that your best self has to offer. All you have to do is plug into the movement of self-love and learn to celebrate yourself. Please do not give your power away by sitting around and waiting for others to do this. You are your best investment; you have your back, which is the most important thing to realize; run with this notion! Once you fully embrace this message and make it part of you, your light will shine brighter than ever, and the outside pieces of your life will fall into place and flow more peacefully, much like your inner self. This love and happiness authentically came from the inside out instead of the outside (material wealth only boosts happiness momentarily). Genuine love from the inside out is what feeling good in your skin is all about; it gifts long-term bliss. Bless yourself with the wonders of you. If you feel you have lost hope, tug on a lifeline for help, and seek local counseling, you are worth the effort!

Eco-map, continued...

Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC photo

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

Example of energy flow:

If you have someone in your life that is important to you, you draw a thick line from you in the center circle to this person’s circle and if it is a give and take relationship then you have arrows pointing both ways. If you are always asking for help but you do not give much support back the arrows would only be pointed towards the inner circle (to you). It is important to include any bad relationships in your life; dotted or fenced lines to show barriers or issues depict these. People can even put a deceased loved one in a circle if he or she still talks to them through prayer or out loud in hopes this person is still around in spirit although this would be an example of using a fenced line to represent a barrier. Another example might be a parent who is absent in your life or maybe it is someone who is incarcerated.

When the map is complete a lot of information can be derived from it, and many times this detail is life altering to the client.

It can highlight the energy vampires in your life; those people whom you continue to give and give without any support ever coming back. It can surface the relationships that you wish to strengthen; those you need to make more time for that you want to nurture. It can also show how isolated you are or how much you interface within your community; outside support and even giving back to the community makes for a better world a better place for us all.

Strongbonds.jss.org.au talks about how an eco-map can show and open or closed boundary in a family or close circle:

"Families who have flexible open boundaries have healthy relationships with people outside the family. They allow individual family members to develop independent relationships whilst maintaining family connections. Families with closed boundaries have little contact with the outside world and tend to view the world with suspicion. Family members become enmeshed and sometimes depressed as there is no new input to energise relationships and thinking."

If you are feeling lonely or you are struggling with the relationships in your life an eco-map may be a helpful tool to utilize while you ponder the connections and decide if each one is healthy for you or not. Give it a try, what can it hurt?

3 D's of counseling, continued...

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Examiner article

As a student in the Mental Health Counseling Master’s program (year 3), I am find it interesting how the therapist assesses a client. My intent in sharing information I am learning is to educate readers about the counseling process in hopes this awareness will take some of the anxiety out of a first time visit.

It takes a lot of courage to go into counseling because, basically, this individual is vulnerable to the experience of the counselor. He or she must share their darkest and deepest secrets in order to uncover and process toxic thoughts and/or beliefs that may be causing a dysfunctional pattern.

As I am studying this process and learning about the 3 D’s of disorders, it makes sense to me that we need to understand how this impairment is impacting the client’s life (distress) and that we must figure out a diagnosis in order to uncover the root cause (dysfunction) and initiate the healing process but the deviation part of this analysis took my by surprise. The more I read about it, the more I understand that the norm for each culture and sub-cultures play a role in underlying beliefs. For example, some cultures believe in zombies and while in the United States we might wonder if this person talking about a real live zombie is psychotic, if the ethnicity of the client is Haitian, it may not be out of the ordinary depending on his or her upbringing.

I am curious about other cultures and intrigued to learn more as I find my way into a counseling niche. I am realizing that diversity in counseling is very complex and in order to fully understand a client, I must understand his or her culture as well.

What are your thoughts about my counseling articles? Could you care less about this information or is it beneficial to read? Drop me a note and let me know.   

A stranger in distress, continued...

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Examiner article

I’ve been reading the book, Letters from a war zone authored by Andrea Dworkin published in 1993. It offers a collection of powerful writings and speeches fighting for the rights of women in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Andre offers a raw but eye-opening view from the trenches of women suffering violent sexual crimes.

She was in the frontlines of this battle fighting the porn industry and societal proponents of such propaganda. The book made my heartache but I am glad it found its way into my life. Andre was extremely courageous in her fight; she spoke to the courts, congress, colleges all over America and outside of the country and any other organization that would listen to her pleas. She was passionate about making the world better for other women and because of her legacy and the others who fought this cause we are better for it today!

She left a magnificent body of work that continues to impact the world in a great way, I hope, one day, I too can impact others in a similar way.

What are you reading today? What was the last book you finished? Make it a point to learn the stories of others; we can learn so much from these testimonies. They can inspire and offer strength if you’re open to it.

If you are unhappy, continued...

Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC photo

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Examiner article

I am really walking the talk here as I ended up in a really unhappy place several years ago. This was after I lost my father and then lost my job. At that time I was in business as a Purchasing Executive and feeling like I was fighting more on a daily basis instead of feeling accomplished and satisfied with my work. It took me a few months and a rock bottom hit to gain my composure, get back on my feet, and redirect my efforts towards my soul-work; serving others through Life Healing Art. And, yes, as much as I hated the thought, I’m back in school; just starting year 2 of my Master’s Degree. Money is tight but, with a lot of prayers, ends are meeting.

It takes courage and a lot of effort but I’m gaining momentum and I do see the light at the end of the tunnel!

What about your, is there a light in your life? Tell me about it.

Help, continued...

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Examiner article

I love photos of hands, especially those reflecting someone helping someone else. They really do touch me. I try to lend a supportive hand as much as possible. I reach out to strangers (some get annoyed, some appreciate it) and I hope, in my time of need, others would do the same.

I really do feel the reason I am so blessed is because I have a generous spirit. I care about the well-being of others. I want everyone to be happy and to succeed in whatever they are passionate about. This comes from my heart and it is what fuels my volunteer work, my support to my friends and family and my reach to strangers when I see someone who can use a helping hand.

How are you helping those around you? Leave me a comment and tell me about it!

It is best to empower, continued...

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Examiner article

Wow, enabling and empowering, verbs that are very different in their impact on others. I do believe it is okay to step in and help someone who is over their head and I don't consider this enabling; it's a good deed and maybe needed help. But when you have to step in time and time again, guess what, your are now enabling something that isn't healthy. But as I said in the article, it is such a priceless gift to help someone learn how to overcome their challenges with a gentle nudge and loving emotional support; empowerment is extraordinary!

As I look back over the years, I know I have enabled many times in the past. It is easy to do when you love someone and you're caught up in their drama. Logic seems to fall to the side and, if you're a kind person, suddenly you're heart is hurting for them and you're stepping into their mess.

If you want to step in, help them find their way to solve their own dilemma through a shoulder to lean and maybe a little sound advice and education. They may not be so receptive at the time but, guess what, it is time!

How are you empowering others? Share with me, I love to hear your stories.

Pets teach you to love, continued...

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Examiner article

The sweet looking, big-eyed and fury friend in the photo is my Mom's (formerly my Dad's) little confidant. Cody was my Dad's world, of course, besides my Mom. He followed him everywhere! My Dad, inappropriately, shared coffee & candy with Cody all the time regardless of our voiced disapproval. Unfortunately, it caught up with him. The day before my Dad's funeral, Cody's face was swollen and we had to take him to the vet; he ended up losing 10 teeth! I joked that Dad didn't need his dentures anymore although my Mom didn't think it was too funny. The crazy thing is, my Dad loved this dog so much, he would have happily given up his teeth if required!

Do you have any heroic or funny pet stories you can share? I would love to create more animal articles for all of us to enjoy! Please email them to me; lifetimeartimpression@yahoo.com

Challenges of single parents, continued...

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Examiner article

Boy, this article really hits close to home for me! Both of my sisters and my niece are quoted in the writing. With exception to my niece, we've all been through divorce! Both of my sisters are happily remarried but although I've found a life-long partner, I have no desire to run to the altar and he is also on the same page with me. My boyfriend is a single parent too. We've been lucky to find each other and support one another's needs! I wasn't aware of National Single Parents day until my dear friend, Mary Anne Britton, told me about it. What, I could have been patting myself on the back and celebrating all of these years:) Any reason to celebrate the strength of a single parent is a worthwhile celebration. Do you know any single parents? If so, tell me about how you are helping them!

An authentic alliance blended with love and spirituality, soul mates, have you found yours, continued...

Click on the below Examiner link to read the background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

I think we go through bad relationships to help us mature and educate us to find our way to our soul mate. The bad ones also gift us with a new found appreciation for the "real and lifetime" love of our lives! I'm fortunate to have finally found the guy who lifts my spirit and makes me feel like I can soar through life happy. He is my true support. Am I saying I couldn't survive without him, NO. I'm a survivor and I can find my way through anything. I'm saying this person is someone who I want to share the rest of my life with, someone who I trust my darkest secrets to and someone who makes me feels safe when he wraps his arms around me; my soul mate! I feel truly blessed for our relationship. How do you feel about yours?

A bereavement story of both sadness and triumph, continued...

Click the below link to my Examiner article, Ed's interview, for background information to this blog entry:

Examiner article

I am working with Ed Gray on a community project bringing Rev. Penny Jones' vision "The HeARTworks Project" to life. Both Ed & I have a similar story in that we both have discovered the therapeutic benefits of writing. He has been through a lot and instead of hiding under the covers and shutting down his life, he uses his story to help others. In Ed's book, The Essence of Grieving, he discusses the first date he went on "and his feelings of cheating" although his wife had passed; it is really interesting. He has a girlfriend today who is a widow which Ed appreciates. They can both understand each other's pain. I'm sure, his wife, is so happy his heart is singing again instead of aching. I wish everyone could find as Cher put it, "Life after Love." I'm grateful for my new friendship with Ed. Pick up a copy of his book, especially if you are a hopeless romantic, it will tug at the strings of your heart!

Grieving a Father and a Mother’s Soul Mate

I am now writing in a Grief Recovery forum called, Open to Hope. I re-invented my article/interview with my Mom as I felt writing about the loss of my Dad, her husband, was appropriate for my first article.

Grieving a Father and a Mother’s Soul Mate

Heavenly memories of loved ones from Christmas past

Click the below link to my Examiner article for background information to this blog entry:

Examiner article

This is our 2nd Christmas without my Dad and it still feels pretty bad. I did go through the motions as I discussed in my last post but my spirit wasn't quite on board with my body and mind. I'm sure as the holidays come and go I will feel happy again but I guess I'm not quite there yet. I did have joyous moments which I'll hang onto as I'm sure these moments will grow and eventually I'll be back to the happiness I once felt. I know it will be packaged differently but I'm sure I'll recognize it and embrace it when it arrives! Are you looking to the future or are you imprisoned by your past? Cherish past memories while navigating forward to make new ones; Merry Christmas!

Book Press Release; What Can I Say When Words Escape Me Michigan Free Press Release / News - Michigan PR

Book Press Release; What Can I Say When Words Escape Me Michigan Free Press Release / News - Michigan PR