Self-love

Photo: By Kathryn J. Raths (the front of a book container I painted)

In the short time I have been working at Still WatersCounseling, in Saline, Michigan, I have sincerely been blessed with a wonderful work environment, heartfelt coworkers, and supportive owners who are well-credentialed therapists. The client base that shapes my day-to-day existence has kept me focused and has continuously challenged me to go deeper within myself and into their worlds. I am intrigued by each and every person whom my path crosses. As I witness the transformation gifted by each individual’s therapeutic process, I learn something new daily. It is a very individual experience. While many commonalities exist in mental health struggles, each person brings a unique experience. What works for one person may or may not work for another; considering this, it becomes a discovery process and an adventure. But, much of the struggle is heightened and prolonged because of the view of self. When we face the world being unkind and harsh to ourselves (often, this is the underlying belief of being a failure or feeling a lack of worth), we cheat on our own successes. This distorted belief blinds us, robs opportunity, and cripples movement forward; it energizes darkness and more suffering.

By enabling self-forgiveness, we can manifest self-compassion. Without it, our energy will continue to drain, and although we may be strong enough to keep pushing, the fight will always be a fight, and we will never be self-fulfilled or truly give ourselves credit for all our accomplishments. You can be the most successful person through a societal lens, but if you do not love yourself, you will believe you are a failure. You, my friend, are worthy of the miracle of you and all that your best self has to offer. All you have to do is plug into the movement of self-love and learn to celebrate yourself. Please do not give your power away by sitting around and waiting for others to do this. You are your best investment; you have your back, which is the most important thing to realize; run with this notion! Once you fully embrace this message and make it part of you, your light will shine brighter than ever, and the outside pieces of your life will fall into place and flow more peacefully, much like your inner self. This love and happiness authentically came from the inside out instead of the outside (material wealth only boosts happiness momentarily). Genuine love from the inside out is what feeling good in your skin is all about; it gifts long-term bliss. Bless yourself with the wonders of you. If you feel you have lost hope, tug on a lifeline for help, and seek local counseling, you are worth the effort!

Say it out loud, continued...

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

I co-facilitated a recent group therapy session when another facilitator talked about the difficulty for clients to “say their story out loud” because it seems to bring it to life all over again. But, the reality is that bringing something to life that has been suppressed or repressed is actually a good thing, and this share of the story will help breathe energy back into your life. We all must tell our story to fully understand and accept it. It offers growth.

Once you can talk about it, of course, then you must work with a therapist to process the experience, whatever it is that you've tried to disown or ignore. What does this mean? Just as the counselor can help clean the slate to soothe the pain of sharing the burden, he or she will help dig beneath the experience at its core to feel and free its hold. This is hard work because it now involves you processing and questioning the feelings manifested surrounding the experience. It is an emotional process, but once you have bonded with the counselor, a safe place in this relationship is established, and this helps to enable you to tap into and own your vulnerability.

If you have a trusted friend or loved one, you can lean on this support to do the work. But, if you feel your world is at a loss currently, it is important to reach out for professional help.

With support, you can move beyond your past or whatever is draining you in the present to embrace a healthier you in the here and now. I am sure of this!

I may sound like a broken record as I spew about the benefits of mindful living and a good support system, but I believe in this. What about you?

Talk Therapy

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

I have written many articles about the here-and-now, present-moment living, and mindfulness; all of these concepts involve owning one's realities. I’ve also written many articles about accountability, acceptance, and surrender, which opens the door to the reality of our worlds.

Today’s article offers a rundown of the cause and effect of how someone’s world can come to feel out of control and how counseling can go deep into the root of this chaos and strategically realign with living the truth of one’s reality.

When we suppress as a form of avoidance or blatantly ignore parts of our lives because we can’t face this truth (i.e., repression), it only causes things to snowball, but at this point, our rational thought has already shut down. And, some individuals just cope in a world of chaos, it becomes their normal and they go about living an unfulfilling life; this energizes the chaos.

It takes a courageous person to walk the path of recovery. To let someone into the nooks and crannies of his or her life, offering their experiences, even the darkest ones, in order to reflect and dissect where false beliefs and thoughts have come from and how they’ve been energized. Imagine sharing your mistaken choices with a stranger. Pretty scary, huh?

But, engaging a healthier you is worth perhaps a bit of embarrassment and discomfort because once the darkness is aired, a heavy burden is relieved. It sheds light on the darkness. In counseling, you are participating in a safe and nonjudgmental space; it’s a place that honors authenticity. It’s a partnering relationship that requires you to show up with a will to address the darkness and motivation to embrace positive change. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say again, “You are your best investment worthy of any work required to surface your best self.”

Have you ever been in counseling? How was your experience? I’m curious. Leave me a note. 

Express don't suppress

Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC photo

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

I just completed a class on adolescent prevention and intervention. It amazes me how teens today are dealing with the overwhelming stimulation for 24/7 technology and social impact. Think about being in a body that is adult size, surging with hormones, but having a mind that isn’t emotionally mature enough to fully navigate the world yet. Sounds pretty crazy to me. How do they cope? 

Though self-expression (like continually changing their hair style), through connection with others in their social network and even by combating life through self-centeredness. Yes, this is the teens way of defending his or herself from a world that may feel like it is evading.

The teen years can be volatile but giving them a safe and loving environment, sticking to a consistent and ethical message, and by staying involved (whether he or she likes it or not), you can help your young adult find his or her way through the difficulties.

If you're beginning this adventure, be courageous, and you both will persevere!

Do you have teenagers in your life? How are they coping? How are you managing in the sidelines? Drop me a note and let's talk!

Search for meaning in suffering, continued...

Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC photo

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

I can understand how someone who feels his or her life life is without purpose, can feel lost and hopeless.  As Viktor points out, the awareness of this meaning of life keeps one from developing a void; something you are unable to fill created by suffering and manifested through this loss of hope.

When you lack meaningful content in your life, this void becomes overwhelmingly painful and this pain drains your will to live.

According to Viktor, this life meaning is different to all and shaped to any “given moment”.  A doctor cannot answer this question for a client but he or she can help a client discover it.  One needs to look at it as if life is asking you, "what is life's meaning?" and your response should entail some sort of responsibility.  He said, "Live as if you are living for the second time.” And, he goes on to say, live as if your first go around was lived very wrong. Leave the past behind and interpret your life task as either a “responsible to society or your responsible to your own conscience”, this is left to the patient or to you to decide.  Viktor called this Logotherapy. The therapist’s role is, “To widen and broaden the vision of the patient.”

Here are the remaining verses from my “go to” affirmation phrase from the King James Version Bible, 23:1 “A Psalm of David.

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. ^23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. ^23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

^23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

^23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. ^23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." (Psalm 23:1-6 KJV).”

The church hymn I so cherish, I Surrender All, was composed by Judson W. Van DeVenter.

This writing offers much food for thought, I’m curious of your response.  Do you have “Go To” installations of hope?  What is it?

Existential therapy, continued...

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

I have been flooded with texts books on theorist in my first 2 semesters of Graduate School. Of course, this makes sense considering my Masters will be in Mental Health Counseling. And, as I study each, I, in most cases, can relate to something offered by each. Like, if you look a Freud, I’m not sure I believe that most everything stems from sexual impulse developed before the age of 6 but I do like some of his techniques such as free association and dream interpretation to dive into the unconscious.

So far, Existential therapy is most relatable to me and I thought it worthwhile to share with you.

What are your thoughts?