Thanks for sharing, continued...

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Examiner article

It feels like many years have passed since I sat down with Louella and I listened attentively in awe while she talked about her life. It is hard to believe it has been only just over 1 year. To her, a southern modest woman, she was no different than anyone else. She is very humble. But, in reality, she has been super human considering the courage and strength she has embraced to overcome her loss and battle with cancer over 40 plus years. And, I have never even heard her complain!

Louella has been like a grandmother to me and to my kids. I really didn't get to have a special relationship with either of my parents' parents. My father's mom and dad passed when I was young and my mother's parents were not local. They passed in my early adult years. My relationship with Louella instilled values I hope I can pass onto my boys' kids someday when they have them.

I am disheartened to think of my life without her, I can't even imagine how her family feels. Although, in Louella's way, I must be selfless and wish her an urgent end to her suffering so she can embrace the spiritual life she earned and now so rightly deserves!

Are you bereaving the loss of someone who is or has passed through hospice? To be in the side-lines of this is life altering. Leave me a note or send me a personal email so we can support each other!

No veteran dies alone, continued...

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Examiner article

I hold a special place for the VA Ann Arbor hospital. When my father's insurance money ran out for hospice care, the VA stepped up and took him into their facility. They supported us and cared for him through the end of his life. They handled everything with professionalism, dignity and grace.

This is why I am going to volunteer for the program, No Veteran Dies Alone. I'm not sure how well or strong I'll be but I am sure it is a very worthy cause. I was so crazed with the thought of my Father dying while we weren't there, this is why we tried to be with him 24/7. It is very important to me that our veterans get the same priority.

Please, if you feel you are able to do this type of work, contact your local VA and reach out to help!

How are you making your community better? Drop a note and let me know. I'm sincerely interested!

The physical and spiritual side of dying, continued...

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Examiner article

It is interesting to learn about Janice Ervin’s religious beliefs considering her extensive experience with death and her study of different religions, science and philosophies.

She shared several points on this subject.

•“There are countless etheric planes to accommodate the limitless levels of spiritual expansion and existence.
•Existence may appear random; however universal laws exist as a form of governance.
•The physical body, the mind, the emotional center and the spirit are linked and the effects of one facet flow to, and influence the other facets. So your personal power, your level or ability, parallels with your belief structure. Therefore, the intensity of your belief in your weakness, directly correlates to your lack of personal strength, or your capacity for individual power and action.
•From the moment you take your first steps on a spiritual path, your experience shifts. And as with any shift in awareness, all that surrounds you begins to alter as well. This can include the people in your life, the activities which bring you joy, and your outlook, moment by moment.
•All life is precious and serves a purpose, from the smallest insect to the greatest beast. To harm another is to alter its natural place in the universal mechanism.
•Mental states which do not bring joy, can experience a shift - be overcome - through the constant practice of meditation
•The consciousnesses of those who are discarnate remain connected to those who are incarnate through love.
•The Divine does not inflict pain for the purpose of learning. However man’s poor choices can cause him and others to experience pain.
•The body is a magnificent miracle of a machine; however, it is fragile and as such, subject to the illnesses, circumstances and conditions of this physical plane. It is not intended to last for eternity as there is great beauty and much to experience on other planes. Should it last an eternity, our overall awareness and connection to so much more would be stymied.
•The root of the Divine is a constant state of unconditional love. Love is Divine. Therefore, communication with those whom we love and miss, who are now of a discarnate form, is a natural experience. Unfortunately, superstition, religious dogma through the ages, and fear create walls which hamper and even block this natural process.
•Our thoughts, feelings and actions carry an energetic force and initiate ripples that span outward.
•Checking oneself to see whether the intent of their thoughts, feelings and actions stem from a loving, non-ego state can bring about shifts in personal awareness.
•One state of consciousness is no better than another – to think otherwise, is to implement judgment.
•There IS more to existence than only that which we only perceive through our five senses. Science finds evidence daily to support this statement.
•Existence is never ending.
•We are beings gifted with a choice willing consciousness. The words commonly utilized here are ‘free will’. However our free will choices are only as expansive as our awareness. For example, if you’ve never left your small town, your educational awareness for making choices will differ from a world traveled individual, in effect, hampering the purity of your free will options to a degree.
•We are not puppets living a pre-determined existence, with a greater being pulling the strings for the purpose of our learning and growth. I believe we have the ability to exert choice and control over our destiny. That does not say that there isn’t a level of determinism involved. But that determinism alters constantly, based upon man’s choices.

For example: A person may choose to drive to the store on a road directly into the path of a truck with broken breaks. As the truck is careening down the hill towards that innocent person, that individual may suddenly decide they want to pull into a fast food location to get a coke. They make this choice; pull off the road, and the truck careens past seconds later. The determinism is in the truck’s inability to stop, and therefore will collide with any physical obstacle in its path. The free will choices exacted by humans alters the physical results of the incident.
•Existence on this plane offers limitless opportunities for learning and evolvement of spirit.
•“Everything (DOES NOT) happen for a reason”, except in the broadest language of determinism. However, there is something to be gleaned from every experience, should we choose to search long enough and hard enough to find the wisdom. This belief is not offered flippantly or lightly. I understand that life experiences can be enormously painful…especially in cases involving the physical death of a loved one. But it can be these same situations that place the initiate on a path to a more expansive consciousness.
•Timeless, eternal existence is a reality.
•Through a blend of our free will choice and a strong energetic pull, we alter our state of existence between a discarnate form (out of physical body) and an incarnate form. (in physical body)
•There are unlimited levels of vibrational force on this physical earth plane, from that found in a quark, to a flower, to an animal to a human. On an overall level though, it is my current theory that all contains a modicum of Divine consciousness – a natural, innocent, pure loving force.
•All that exists is derived from one Divine, awakened, source, which increased in its vibrational force, sending forth fractions of it’s energy. Evolvement of that energetic force creates all that we know today. In the ‘all’ I refer not only to the animal and human life, I refer to the plant, mineral and even gaseous elements. I refer to the room, and the oxygen in the air.
•Since the Divine is in all, there are no incorrect paths of existence. Some ‘paths’ are more winding and scenic in nature – others more expedient and direct. Eventually, all lead to a heightened ability to love, greater expansion and personal transformation
•Personal transformations unite individuals in an appreciation for love as the root to forward progression.
•It is possible that if enough individuals undergo personal transformation, a wondrous global shift can occur.”
She continued, “These are only some of what I’ve deduced thus far. However, education is never ending. I am constantly filtering new thoughts and ideas through the meshing of my conclusions to ascertain whether there are flaws in the thought process or flaws in the conclusions I’ve assembled. Thus far, my deductions have held steady.”
As you can see, Janice has very strong views of existence both physically and spiritually. It always amazes me how someone comes full circle in their beliefs and how such beliefs are shaped as one matures. Janice was raised in the Catholic religion although her study and work has evolved her view into a much more sophisticated and open-minded perspective.
How have your beliefs about spirituality changed as you’ve grown. Fill me in on your progression. It is really interesting to me!

Her focus is so meaningful, continued...

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Examiner article

Janice Ervin specializes in grief, the spiritual connection and as a Hospice & Vigil Service volunteer, she has been touched by many beautiful souls as their earthly journeys came to an end.

She shared one of many stories, “One sweet patient taught me a heightened sensitivity for the plight of those who have lost their independence, with no hope of it returning throughout the remainder of their lifetime. Mable was in an elderly care facility, and had lost the use of her hands because of a stroke. She was never again able to dress herself, or leave her bed to visit the restroom without asking for aid, or take a shower when she wanted. Can you imagine waking in the morning and suddenly not being able to get up, use the rest room, dress or eat until someone arrived to assist you? What if you wake early? What if you are hungry or thirsty in the middle of the night? I asked HOC what her favorite food was, and they told me she loved coffee ice cream. So the first time I visited, I surprised her with a quart. When I sat to help her eat, she begged me to let her feed herself. She only had on a pajama top which ended high on her thighs. As she struggled to eat, the ice cream melted and ran down her bare legs. It was a messy ordeal, but she loved every second of it. More ice cream found its way on the chair and her body than in her mouth, but for the first time in ages, she felt as if she exerted control over her life. I pondered the situation on my way home that night. The next time I visited, I stopped at 7-11, purchased a cup with an extra long, large straw, and some milk. I carted my blender into her room, made her a coffee shake, sat it in her lap, and wrapped her sweet hands around the cup. She was absolutely delighted. She was able to hold the cup, and enjoy the shake while we chatted and watched tv for hours.”

Anyone who spends anytime genuinely volunteering understands the intangible and heart filling rewards that come from reaching out to others in need. Janice’s story is such a testimony to this!

Have you researched the organizations where you can volunteer in your community? It is a worthwhile endeavor to invest your precious time! Leave a comment describing to me what makes your spirit soar! I love inspirational stories.

A spiritual theorist, continued...

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Examiner article

It takes a special person to come to the side of a stranger who is transitioning from their physical being. Janice Ervin is a strong and compassionate angel here on earth! Because her message is so powerful, I will be spending the next few Sundays sharing her words with my readers. Unfortunately, my column is limited to only 400 words and this is far too small for all of the critical information Janice made available. Janice offered the following list about grief.
In her words,
1. “Grief is the normal process of reacting to a loss, on all levels of physical being. Bereavement is the period after a loss during which grief is experienced.
2. The emotions of grief ebb and flow. BE as you are. Allow yourself to experience the emotions of the moment – move with the ups and downs. Be angry or sad. Yell, pound a pillow, and cry when you feel the need – toxins are released through tears. And when the spirit moves you, don’t regret the healing joy found in laughter. Your loved one would wish no less for you.
3. Allow that grief is a sacred experience that doesn’t have an actual end time. It is organic to each individual, and a journey. It is not easily cured with medicine.
4. Grief evolves through the years – it is a process which unfolds the current loss into the future life.
5. Support plays an important role during the bereavement process, so share your process with others in a safe environment. Areas through which support can be found include family members, close friends and bereavement support groups.
6. In this fast paced world, the effects of grief on the physical body are often unrealized, overlooked and misunderstood.
a. Chemical changes taking place within the body affect levels of dehydration. Water makes up 83% of the blood and acts as a transport system delivering nutrients to the brain and eliminating toxins. During grief, chemical changes taking place within the body affect the levels of dehydration. It is therefore critically important to drink water, to replenish fluids and release toxins.
b. Replenish Magnesium and Calcium, as these levels are rapidly depleted during the grief process.
c. Eat a potato with its skin to increase your serotonin level. Omega 3 fatty acids in fish also raise serotonin.
d. Focus when possible on taking long slow breaths. To assist with this process, purchase a bottle of bubbles. Breath work forces the brain to cease it’s natural stress/alarm process, and translates as a chemical reaction that sends relaxation hormones through the body.
e. Progressive muscle relaxation forces the body to relax and increases blood flow.
f. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables to assist the adrenal function and because the stomach tends to be sensitive during grief
g. Assist the thyroid by insuring adequate intake of iodine.
h. Gentle exercise provides obvious benefits.”
If you follow my column and blog you know I suffered the loss of my Father through hospice. It was a trying process that really took a toll on me, both physically and mentally. Regardless if your loss was through hospice or not, the above list is essential to your wellbeing. Can you add anything? Drop a comment if this post resonated with you!

My Radio Interview Promo for this Thursday, 2/18/10

Promotion to Healing the Grieving Heart Radio interview