Happy Valentine Day...?

Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo

If you haven't noticed, I have taken an overdue break from writing the last couple of months, but today is a great day to get back on the writing wagon. Valentine's Day is both a curse and a blessing; when it is good, it is really good, but when it is bad, it feels horribly lonely. I am blessed to share my world with my husband and kids, but I, too, have suffered the hardship of Valentine's ghosts of the past; it isn't easy.

When I thought about an article tonight, I wondered what would be a good message and advice for those harboring broken hearts. Considering this, the best advice to give for a broken heart is to feel it. Does it sound like tough love to you? It may come across as feeling harsh, but as a practicing clinical mental health counselor, the client I am most worried about is the one who comes into my office with their feelings repressed. This kind of client has little memory of the past, is numb in the present, and really cannot understand what is wrong with his or her life, but most importantly AND heartbreakingly, this individual is not feeling joy either. We are human beings and are here for a feeling experience here on earth; if not, we are cheating ourselves out of growth opportunities found in the silver linings of heartache and the bliss of joyful memories.

If you do not love your life, work to love yourself first, which includes feeling both good and bad emotions/memories. We all have them. Give yourself permission to bereave the past selves, experiences, and regrets, and work to love you that you are in this moment! Celebrate you here and now; I'm sure you are worth the celebration!

Happy Valentine's Day, my dear friend!

Dating myths, continued...

Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC photo

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

I have communicated previously that after my divorce, I gave up dating for 1 solid year. I had had enough crap to last for a long while!  After the year was up I went out on 3 separate dates with 3 different guys.  After about 10 dates with the 3^rd gentleman, he met my children. He is my fiancé now and I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

We’re very much alike. We have had similar childhoods, we’re both aggressive business savvy people with big hearts and we both brought 2 kids each into the relationship. My life was pretty great the year I spent on my own but it got much better when I was able to share it with the love of my life.

My wish for you is you find someone who doesn’t make your life (only you should do this) but for this person to accentuate you and your life in the best way possible!

Happy Valentine Day!  

Hallmark Holidays, continued...

Lifetime Art Impression, LLC Photo

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

My boyfriend and I do not really get crazy on Valentine Day. We, of course, spend time together and we'll probably go out for a bite to eat but we don't spend a bunch of money on each other. We do not need a holiday to remind us to do something special. When we have spare time, anytime during the year, we try to get away. Sometimes this might be a drive North, other times we hop on a plane for a couple of, kid-free, days together. Many times, I'll grab my camera and he'll drive me around to certain parks and/or nature areas/paths we haven't explored and we'll spend time getting the perfect shot. Last time we did this, he took his Ipad and we had a blast.

What are you doing on Tuesday? Whatever it is and whomever your with (even if you are by yourself) make it special!

Love never dies, continued...

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

My heart aches for those whose significant others have passed. To figure out how to cope through life without them is an unbearable thought. We are so lucky to be surrounded by our loved ones. To have someone physically in your life and a love for them in your heart is the greatest gift. It is a gift that should be celebrated everyday but especially on Valentine's Day!

It is less about the money you spend and more about the everlasting warmth that lives within your heart when you think of someone whom you adore. Whether they still live in this physical world or not, they impression continues on in your heart. This is truly magical to me.

Are you appreciating your loved ones? How did you spend Valentine day? Drop me a note and share your story!

Love of your life, continued...

Click on the below article link to obtain background information to this blog post:

Examiner article

After my divorce I decided to take a necessary 1 year break from men. I knew I needed the time to clear my head, heal and focus on a future that prioritized my 2 little boys and our well-being. I needed to make sure I was happy with myself so I was healthy for my future partner. Many people don't understand the importance of this. If you can't find happiness on your own, how can you expect others to do it for you? After the year was finished I sat down with my kids and asked them, "What do we want in the man that I bring into our lives?"

Of course, I started with, "He has to like kids, preferably having some himself, of which he needed to have fought for custody of them during his divorce." This would affirm that family was important to him. Yes, I wanted someone who has been divorced. Someone who had been there and done that. It was necessary because I had no interest in walking down the isle again (at least not in the next 15 plus years).

My youngest said, "He has to like animals." While the oldest said, "He needs to like to cruise like we do!" Between the 3 of us we came up with 10 critical mandates about the man I was manifesting. We completed the list in November and by February this wonderful person came into my life. He met all of our criteria plus much, much more. We are so lucky and grateful.

We're still together today, several years later, and it only gets better with each year. I believe the only reason the universe gifted me with such a wonderful soul-mate was because I made sure I was ready. I could have easily bounced into the next relationship and bandaged my wounds with someone else but this would only have pro-longed my pain. The year break was critical for me to learn to love myself, without regrets, and hold my head high while I found my way to independence.

How do you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror? If your mind is filled with negative thoughts, work to quiet the hurtful static. Embrace positive feeling and move forward with love. Once you're sincerely able to do this, your true love will find you!