Kathryn J. Raths, LLC photo
If you haven't noticed, I have taken an overdue break from writing the last couple of months, but today is a great day to get back on the writing wagon. Valentine's Day is both a curse and a blessing; when it is good, it is really good, but when it is bad, it feels horribly lonely. I am blessed to share my world with my husband and kids, but I, too, have suffered the hardship of Valentine's ghosts of the past; it isn't easy.
When I thought about an article tonight, I wondered what would be a good message and advice for those harboring broken hearts. Considering this, the best advice to give for a broken heart is to feel it. Does it sound like tough love to you? It may come across as feeling harsh, but as a practicing clinical mental health counselor, the client I am most worried about is the one who comes into my office with their feelings repressed. This kind of client has little memory of the past, is numb in the present, and really cannot understand what is wrong with his or her life, but most importantly AND heartbreakingly, this individual is not feeling joy either. We are human beings and are here for a feeling experience here on earth; if not, we are cheating ourselves out of growth opportunities found in the silver linings of heartache and the bliss of joyful memories.
If you do not love your life, work to love yourself first, which includes feeling both good and bad emotions/memories. We all have them. Give yourself permission to bereave the past selves, experiences, and regrets, and work to love you that you are in this moment! Celebrate you here and now; I'm sure you are worth the celebration!
Happy Valentine's Day, my dear friend!
